What You Can't Leave Behind
by AJ
E-MAIL: aeryn47@yahoo.com
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: S/J, some D/J
SPOILERS: "Between Two Fires"
SUMMARY: Narim comes back to ask for SG-1's help on Tollan.
DISCLAIMERS: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. I made no money off the production of this fan fiction and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is for Laura, for listening to the story during
the drive out of Vegas into the stars.
When they took her away, I accepted the fact that I
might never see her again. We’d made our peace the
night before, things that needed to be said. After
what we’d been through, our hope for getting home had
diminished and we were just focusing on surviving.
For what? I don’t know. My reason for surviving had
just been taken from me.
~*~
Maybe I should start at the beginning.
We’d just been ordered on a week downtime. All of us
had been working our asses off and desperately needed
to get away from the base. Even Carter wanted a
vacation, so you know it was serious.
She’d turned me down once again to go to my cabin,
which wasn’t a surprise. Why do I keep asking her? I
guess I’m just a glutton for punishment. Anyway,
she’d made plans to test out her newly restored Indian
Scout with some guy we worked with.
Ok, so I was a little jealous. The guy was single,
gorgeous (not that I usually notice those things), and
a really great guy to boot. But, hey, Carter had a
life to live and it was time I’d started accepting
that.
So she was getting ready to run off for a week with
Major What’s-His-Name and I was once again going to my
cabin alone. Daniel decided that hanging out with
Janet would be much more fun and Teal’c was planning
to visit his son.
And somewhere in the middle of all that the klaxons
rang and it was the beginning of that…hell. Yeah,
that’s what it was – hell.
I mean, my hand was pushing the button to the elevator
that was going to take me away for a week of fishing
and relaxation and instead I got to go to lovely
Tollan and fight some Goa’uld. Sometimes my timing
really sucks.
It was Narim who’d stepped through the Stargate
wanting our help. To tell you the truth, I never
thought I’d see him again and neither did Carter. I
think she missed him a lot more that she’d let on.
He’d been a good friend to her and in the end he was
the guy who helped save Earth. No matter what I’ve
said about him in the past, he was a hero in my book.
I remember how tired Narim looked. Not the kind of
tired from simply working too hard, but the kind of
tired from being in battle. I know that kind of tired.
But there was also a sense of relief on his face,
like he didn’t think he’d make it here. He collapsed
just shortly after stepping off the ramp, but not
before asking us for help.
Carter stayed with him the whole time. I’d checked in
on her about 3am and she was wide-awake reading some
book with a title I can’t even begin to pronounce. Of
course I had my own reasons for being awake at 3am but
they had nothing to do with a certain Major in my
ranks. Really. I swear. Yeah, I’m not buying it
either.
So I was worried about her and I figured the least I
could do is take her some coffee. I guess I wasn’t
surprised she was awake.
Shortly after I arrived, Narim woke up. Between the
exhaustion and the drugs Janet gave him, he was pretty
groggy. I could tell there was urgency to his voice
but he was just too tired to continue. He slept for a
couple more hours while Carter and I waited. She read
and I watched her read. Occasionally I would ask her
about what she was reading but as soon as she started
to tell me, I zoned out. I would try to listen, to be
polite because she was worried about her friend. She
knew that and took advantage of me. I know she did. I
saw the smiles she tried to hide after I finally gave
up and asked her to stop.
That’s the last time I listen to her just to be nice.
She deliberately used terms she knew I didn’t know.
Ah well, I was helping a friend through a difficult
night. I had no idea she’d be returning the favor ten
fold. This was to be the first of many weeks of
difficult nights.
Tollan was still in the ball game, so to speak. Even
with the Goa’uld’s new defense shield, the Tollan were
able to defend their home, barely. Only the Tollan
could build a new Stargate underground without the
Goa’uld knowing. That’s how Narim made it to Earth to
seek our help.
When he finally woke up, he explained that they needed
our help. Our strategies had worked in the past to
help win some pretty intense battles and they sought
our expertise. The Tollan sought our expertise – never
thought I’d see the day.
I was against the idea, of course. It was too risky to
start sending troops into that war zone against an
enemy we knew we couldn’t defeat with our crude
weapons. I know they were our allies but this was too
much to ask.
Carter disagreed, almost to the point of
insubordination. She was letting her emotions for
Narim interfere with her decision. I know she’s not
in love with the guy but I do know she cares about him
a lot. So we went a few rounds in front of Hammond
before she gave in and saw our reasoning but not
before she offered a few ideas of her own.
It was decided that Carter and I would go in as
representatives of Earth and the Air Force to assess
the tactical situation and then report back as to a
possible way for us to help. And that was the last
time anyone would hear from us for a long time. In my
many years in the military and Special Forces, I’ve
seen and done a lot that I never thought I’d survive
or ever relive. All of that was nothing compared to
what Sam and I were about to endure.
***
If it hadn’t been for my stubbornness and the fact
that I let my emotions rule my decisions, we might not
have had to go through the hell we did. I wasn’t in
love with Narim but the way I acted in General
Hammond’s office that day, some would have thought
otherwise.
I just didn’t want to think of the entire race of
Tollan being destroyed. If we could help in any way,
I thought it was the decent thing to do. I hope I
never have to live through a hell like that again.
In the end it was Jack, excuse me…Colonel O’Neill, and
I who were sent to the “front lines” to assist the
Tollan. He was against the idea from the start but he
also had faith in me, a faith that I think wasn’t
warranted after my behavior. He had every right to
bring me up on insubordination but I guess part of him
knew I was right; otherwise he would have fought a
little harder.
When we arrived on Tollan, we were immediately
escorted to a ‘safe house’ where we would be able to
assess the situation. It was underground and in some
respects reminded me of the Tok’ra crystal tunnels.
Narim said that’s where they got the idea. From
underground they were able to hide from the Goa’uld as
well as run the battle. Narim had faith that they
would be able to hold off long enough for the Goa’uld
to get bored.
They didn’t. The mysterious Goa’uld they were
fighting realized the importance of the Tollan
technologically as well as being a good supply of
hosts. They had stopped killing the Tollans and
started holding them in prison camps, forcing the
scientists to reveal the secrets of their technology.
Seems the scientists had a longer life expectancy in
the camps as long as they cooperated. Lucky me.
When they took me away, I accepted that it might be
the last time I saw Colonel O’Neill…Jack. We had
spent the night before saying all the things that
needed to be said. I had made my peace with him and
was ready to face what they had to offer.
***
I know everyone says that SG-1 has some kind of
magical luck. I think it’d started to run out on
Tollan. Maybe because it was just me and Carter so we
only had half the luck. I don’t know, I do know that
we couldn’t have been more than a mile from the
entrance to the underground when one of those damn
Jaffa spotted us and began laying fire.
And then I felt that all too familiar buzz of a zat.
Damn I hate those things.
Then the Jaffa thought they’d knock us up side the
head, just to be sure we wouldn’t give them any
trouble. Next thing I know, I’m waking up next to
Carter and Narim in one of those damn prison camps.
This prison theme in my life is starting to get old.
~*~
They took us to one of the prison camps. I know it was
far from the gate because we rode in the transport for
a long time. They stripped us of everything but the
clothes on our back.
They knocked us out after they zatted us but I came to
before we arrived. I tried to see where we were headed
but I could feel the guards watching me so I kept my
eyes closed.
The colonel and Narim didn’t wake up till after they
threw us in prison.
“Gee, another prison. What a surprise. Hope this one
at least has better room service.” The Colonel said
as he woke up. I just smiled. I didn’t feel like
smiling but I think it’s just an instinctual response
to smile at his sarcasm.
Narim looked a little confused. You’d think the guy
would be used to the colonel’s special brand of humor
by now.
“They want us as hosts” Narim offered the blatantly
obvious. I was waiting for the usual ‘ya think’ from
the colonel but it never came. I looked over and saw
him trying to figure a way out of this.
I walked over to him, awaiting his orders.
“Narim, any idea how to get out of this place?”
Colonel O’Neill asked. Narim joined us by the door,
looked at it for a few seconds then said that he would
see what he could do.
“Carter, you help him.” The colonel was tired.
Between the zat shot and the fact we hadn’t eaten all
day was wearing on both of us but I noticed the
colonel seemed more tired, lethargic. Like it was
taking all his effort just to move.
“Sir, are you ok?” I finally asked after he moaned a
few times.
“Fine, Carter, never better. We going home yet?”
“Not yet, sir. I’m not familiar with the technology
they are using.”
“Neither am I.” Narim added.
Then the colonel just slid down the wall and
collapsed. He finally just gave in and let himself
rest. When I put my hand up to his forehead, he was
burning up. Narim told me that he had heard that they
were doing experiments to see what the human body
could endure. No telling what they’d injected him
with. We still don’t know.
The next few days were a blur. My only focus was
keeping the colonel’s fever down. Occasionally he
would regain consciousness and mutter something
incoherent and then fall asleep. Sleep and water
would be the things to help him through. Water was a
valuable thing and so I tried to get as much into the
colonel as possible.
At one point during the night he woke up and the fever
seemed to have lessened. We spoke briefly, things
that needed to be said, and then he went back to
sleep.
And then they came for me.
~*~
That fever the first few days was weird. I only
remember bits and pieces of those days. I’d wake up,
see Carter’s face looking down at me, she’d say a few
soothing words and then I’d fall back asleep. But
there is one clear moment in my mind when Sam and I
said some things that needed to be said to each other.
Then I fell back asleep.
When the fever broke and I finally came out of it, I
saw them taking Carter away. I tried to move but Narim
held me back. I was still so weak that I couldn’t put
up much of a fight. She glanced back at me one more
time, trying to let me know she would be ok.
Narim told me the whole story of how she never left my
side, the fact that she went without water so that I
would have enough, and how she sat with me in her arms
so that I wouldn’t have to lay on the hard dirty
floor.
I wanted answers that Narim couldn’t give and so I
took it out on him. All I wanted was to find Carter,
blow up the damn snakeheads and get the hell off that
planet. But all I could think of right then was that
I just needed to find Carter.
After about two weeks they let Narim and I out of the
cell to join the others. There were about 100 people
at the camp and each one had their own horror story.
I started asking about Carter; maybe she was still
here, but no luck. Then this one guy approached me
with a solemn look and I just knew he had bad news.
I just kept thinking, don’t tell me she’s dead. My
patience was at its peak and that was the one thing
that would put me over the edge.
“She put up a good fight” was the first thing out of
this mouth.
“Where did they take her?” Narim asked.
“Oh they took her body out of the camp.”
I was numb. Her body. What the hell was he talking
about. Next thing I know I’ve got the guy on the
ground with my arm against his neck, threatening to
kill him if he doesn’t tell me anything. It took
several guys to hold me back while he gave me the
news.
They shot her with a staff weapon.
She was trying to resist because they wanted to take
her away from the camp, away from me. So they fucking
shot her with a goddamn staff weapon. That was it.
“She kept calling out for someone named Jack. Is that
you?” the guy asked.
She didn’t want to use my title. Didn’t want them to
know I was in charge. Even in her last moments she was
protecting me. Then I did what I always do. I tucked
the anger down deep and moved ahead with the mission.
Narim looked pretty distraught but I told him to deal
with it and move on. He was shocked by my reserve but
there was no time to grieve, I had a mission to
complete.
~*~
One minute they’re dragging me out in front of
everyone, forcing me to leave and the next minute I’m
waking up in a sarcophagus. Why kill me when they
stick me in this thing.
Jolinar. My memories of Jolinar were valuable to
them. I remember very little about that day. But I
do remember calling out for Colonel O’Neill. I used
his first name so that they wouldn’t know his rank.
But who was I fooling, they knew exactly who we were,
which is why they came for me.
They just shot me so that the Colonel would think I
was dead. I guess they thought that would undermine
his diligence but if I know the Colonel, it only
strengthened it. But, to be honest, I never thought I
would see him again.
v
A couple of weeks later, they brought in another
prisoner who had been in the same camp. He was a
godsend, finally news of the colonel and Narim.
He told me the colonel was dead. Caught trying to
escape. Damn him.
~*~
I put all my energy into getting out of that damn
prison camp. It was like one giant symbol of Sam’s
death and I just couldn’t stay there any longer.
After about a week, Narim and I finally found a way
out of there. Seems Narim had a devoted woman friend
who was just as diligent at getting us out of there as
we were at wanting to get out. At least one of us was
going to get the girl in the end.
Then it hit me. I had to find Sam. I figured… if she
were dead I’d…feel it…ya know?
~*~
They wanted to perform experiments on me. They also
were interested in my knowledge of the ‘Tau’ri gate’.
I just wanted to tell them to go to hell, and I did
on a few occasions. I had a really great black eye to
prove it. But I knew that as long as I didn’t talk, I
would stay alive.
Besides, I had to escape and try to find the colonel.
I figured that if he were dead that I’d…feel it.
~*~part 2
Once we made it back to the ‘gate, Narim’s friend,
Anya, told us that they managed to free the camp where
they were holding the scientists and other important
people. Many Tollans were wounded in the escape and
needed medical attention. They were severely
understaffed so I went back to Earth to ask for
medical assistance for the Tollan. While I was there
I managed to convince the General to let Teal’c and
Daniel come back to Tollan and help me find Carter.
The general ok’d Doc Fraiser to bring a small group of
medics through as well. I convinced Daniel to stay
behind and help the doc in case Carter managed to make
it back there, no sense separating them also.
Anyway, one of the people that were rescued told me
that he met a woman who fit Carter’s description. He
said she’d been interrogated pretty thoroughly and
then one day she just wasn’t there anymore. He told
me he thought they killed her but then there was a
rumor that the yellow haired woman had escaped.
The yellow-haired woman…I had to laugh. It reminded
me of a story she told me once. She was about 6 years
old and the little boy next door always told her that
he loved her yellow hair and purple eyes. That’s how
I knew we’d find her; I hadn’t truly given her a hard
enough time about that. I had to see that yellow hair
and those purple eyes again.
I told Teal’c about it and he just cocked his eyebrow
and reminded me “Major Carter’s eyes are blue,
O’Neill.” Sometimes I think he does it just to bug
me.
So Teal’c and I picked up a couple Tollan weapons and
set out to find Carter. Narim offered to lead us as
far as the next town; from there we would be on our
own.
~*~
I think that I knew there were feelings between
Samantha and Colonel O’Neill. I don’t think there was
the first time we all met but each time after that I
noticed a closeness they shared. In fact, I thought
there was a relationship between them until Samantha
explained the regulations of their military. I
remember a sadness that I had never before seen in her
eyes.
She never left his side the when we were captured. He
was very sick from whatever they had injected him with
so she held him in her arms most of the time. The
only thing we had to combat the infection was the
water we received three times a day. Sam would give
the Colonel his, then she would drink one of hers and
give him the other two. I pleaded with her to take
care of herself but her focus was to heal the Colonel.
She said that the reason she was doing that was
because he needed to be well when they tried for an
escape. I’m sure that was part of the reason, but the
other reason she tried very hard to hide.
One night, I awoke to find her stoking his hair and
saying soothing words to him, letting her head rest
against his, holding him tight. Perhaps it gave her
more comfort than it did him.
I hope they find her.
~*~
I was so lost that I thought I would never find my way
out of here. One of the worst things to do is give up
hope in a situation like this bit I was just so tired.
I was tired of fighting, tired of looking, tired of
being lost and hungry, tired of wondering where the
Colonel was and if he was still alive.
And then I saw the thing I had been searching for –
the secret base. Well, what I knew to be the secret
entrance. I couldn’t just walk in and say hello, they
might shoot first then ask questions. Then I spotted
someone going in and approached him. It was Narim. I
was so happy to see he was alive that I lunged at him
and gave him a big hug.
He took my hand and led me inside. As we walked the
long corridor I wanted to ask him about the Colonel
but I was afraid. If he was dead, then I could have
this last few minutes of hope.
As soon as we entered the main room, I saw Daniel and
Janet. It was so wonderful to see the faces of two of
my closest friends that I actually started crying. I
was completely exhausted and now that I was safe, I
could let all the pain and frustration out.
I was just pulling myself together to ask about
Colonel O’Neill when Narim informed me of where he had
led them earlier that day. Could our timing be any
worse?
~*~
The town was eerily quiet. Well, considering most
people were in prison camps, there wouldn’t be much of
a welcoming party. But through that quiet we heard
weapons fire and soon found ourselves helping about 50
people escape captivity.
~*~
v
After a very welcome bath and change of clothes (I
never thought I would look good in Tollan grey but its
not too bad), I gathered some food and weapons and
made plans to find the Colonel and Teal’c. Narim
offered to help me but asked a favor in return.
My first instinct was to say no but after he explained
it, I knew I couldn’t say no. There was vital
information that needed to be delivered that could
change to tide of the war in favor of the Tollans.
Saving the planet, any planet, can get a little
tedious sometimes, especially when it interferes with
your plans.
We left that day, Narim with the information and me
with a little more hope.
~*~
How that guy managed to fly that huge transport and
land it without gettting shot out of the sky, I will
never know. We really could use him on our team.
We took out a lot of the Jaffa that were pursuing them
and a few of the Tollan managed to pick up some staff
weapons along the way to even out the odds. These
people were determined and were going to get away or
die trying. How could I not help them?
~*~
Narim and I had been walking most of the day, narrowly
missing a few run ins with some Jaffa. That was why
he wanted me along, I could sense them ahead of time.
Jack…the Colonel jokes about what a nice party trick
it is, that I should have a booth “Pay a dollar, find
out if you’re a Goa’uld.” I laughed out loud and
Narim glanced at me.
“Sorry, just something funny I remembered.”
“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in a long
time, Samantha.”
“Nothing much to smile about.”
“We will find him.”
I took great comfort in those words and gave Narim
another smile and thanked him for helping me. I was
glad that I didn’t’ have to do this alone.
We walked in silence for a few minutes before we heard
the faint sound of gunfire. It sounded like a ground
battle. That could only mean one thing – the Tollan
were fighting back.
We looked at each other and silently agreed to follow
the sounds.
~*~
As the last of the people got on the transport, there
were only a handful of Jaffa left in the area. I sent
out some more shots to cover the few remaining Tollan.
A few had been injured which slowed us down but we
managed to get all of them on board. Teal’c took a
shot in the shoulder but I knew he’d had worse. Still,
we needed to get these people some medical attention.
And as we took off, that was when I saw her. She was
running towards the transport waving her hands in the
air. I saw Narim off to the side firing at a Jaffa on
the other side of Sam but it wasn’t enough, she went
down and all I could think of was turning this
transport around and going back for her.
I yelled at the pilot but he told me he wouldn’t risk
the lives of 50 people for a dead woman. It took
every ounce of self control and a stern look from
Teal’c to keep from punching the guy out.
I couldn’t get the image of her collapsing to the
ground out of my head. It just kept replaying over and
over. The only comfort I had was knowing that Narim
would take care of her, if she was still alive.
~*~
I heard the Colonel’s voice before I saw him. They
were still laying cover fire for a group of Tollan
trying to escape when I heard him yelling at them to
hurry it up.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him get on that
transport. He was alive and was flying away from me.
The weapons fire stopped and I couldn’t see any more
Jaffa so I ran out into the open while Narim stood
watch, just in case.
I didn’t know if the Colonel saw me just before I
heard the weapons discharge and the next thing I knew
I was waking up at a safe house in the next town with
a very upset Narim on my hands.
~*~
We managed to get the transport back to the
headquarters where Janet and the Tollan doctors could
take care of the wounded.
I didn’t even change clothes. I grabbed a little food
and some water and was ready to head back out now that
I knew where Sam was when Daniel pulled me aside.
I wasn’t in the mood to hear it. I was waiting for
the lecture about resting and waiting till morning but
Daniel surprised me by offering to help. I patted him
on the shoulder and told him that Janet needed him.
“She’s got all the help she needs. Besides, I’m not
that kind of doctor.”
“No. But she still needs you.”
It took him a few seconds “Oh.”
“Yeah, and she’d have my hide if I let anything happen
to you.”
He smiled knowingly. I’m sure they’d had their fare
share of arguments and they’d only been dating a
month. He gathered a few medical supplies and added
them to my pack then wished me luck.
I was off once again to find Sam. This was starting
to get old.
~*~
After killing the Jaffa who shot Samantha, I was able
to carry her to the former prison camp. I hid us in a
small room while I attended to her wounds. The Jaffa
had barely grazed her shoulder but it was enough to
leave her unconscious. I used a Tollan healing device
to mend the wound and then made her rest.
v
She awoke later in the evening and by that time I had
managed to gather some food and build a small fire to
keep us warm. I remember how beautiful she looked in
the firelight. I still cared about her as a friend
and even through her beauty I could see the pain and
frustration in her eyes.
“Please eat all of your food, Samantha, you will need
your strength to make it to our destination.”
“I’m not very hungry.”
“We only have a few more miles to go to deliver the
message. We need to be there tomorrow and I am not
leaving you behind.”
She looked shocked at my harsh tone but then smiled
and began eating. I returned her smile and we ate
quietly and stared at the fire. I think we were both
grateful for a little peace and quiet.
“How did you meet Anya?” she asked softly. It was a
good idea to take our minds off of the task at hand
for a few moments.
“At the base. She was so brilliant and I couldn’t
help but be charmed by her. She reminded me of you, a
little.”
Samantha smiled shyly “But she looks nothing like me.”
“No, but you have that same inner strength.”
“Tell me a story about her.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, tell me a story about her. One that you think
of often and it makes you smile.”
I, of course, immediately smiled.
“Yes, like the one you’re thinking of now,” she said.
“It was a very late night and we were both very tired
but we were laughing a lot. I think from too much
sleep.”
“I know what that’s like.”
“There was nothing to laugh about that day but we took
comfort in each other. We found an out of the way
corner that was dimly lit and I held her in my arms
and we talked for hours about our future. For a few
hours we pretended that there wasn’t a war and that we
were going to live happily ever after.”
She reached over to me then and took my hand “you
will."
And for a little while, I believed her.
“What about you?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“A fond memory you share with Colonel O’Neill.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry, I thought that you had feelings for him.”
I knew there were the rules but that didn’t stop her
from still having feelings or fond memories.
“He’s my commanding officer and we’ve been through a
lot together. That’s all.”
She knew I didn’t believe her. There was an awkward
silence. I could see that Samantha was struggling
with her emotions.
“Ok. I won’t say any more about it.”
She nodded a thank you and lay down to sleep. I lay
down as well and after a while I heard her voice, very
softly tell me “When there is a story, I will share it
with you.”
I was glad to hear the hope in her voice and I knew we
were going to make it out of this.
~*~
We made it to our location the next day with very
little trouble. That should have bothered me but I
didn’t want to think about it. We made it and now we
could see if it worked. The message contained the
frequeny for the shields of the Goa’uld motherships in
orbit. Narim didn’t want to tell me this in case we
were captured.
A group of Tollan’s had managed to find a working ion
canon and keep it hidden until we arrived. They set
to work inputting the data and the moment finally
came.
It worked. All three ships were blown out of the sky.
I couldn’t believe it. At least that threat was over.
There were still ground troops to deal with but
something like this gives people hope and shortly
after the bursts in the sky we could hear distant
weapons fire.
The people were fighting back. Narim told me that
over the past few days a small amount of Tollan
weapons had been smuggled into prison camps. It was
only 1 or 2 in each camp but it was enough to start
things rolling. Not to mention the 1000s who had
escaped and could take up arms and fight for their
planet.
I had a great sense of pride at knowing I helped.
There were about 5 of us at the ion canon and we all
grabbed as many weapons as we could and joined the
fight nearby.
Lots of Jaffa lying dead. Lots of Tollan as well. We
helped the remaining Tollan fight off the few Jaffa
that were left nearby.
Once the camp was secure we set up medical facilities
and we all went to work healing the wounded.
I hadn’t forgotten about the Colonel and Narim assured
me that he would send word as soon as communications
were up and running again.
Because there were so many wounded, we had to make a
home for ourselves at the camp. At night we still
heard distant weapons fire from the ground battles and
silently prayed that they were as victorious as we
were. We had to wait here until a transport could
come for us.
We would be going home soon and then I would sit down
with the rest of SG-1 and have a cold beer and some
good food and be thankful that we made it out of
another one alive.
~*~
That last battle was a close one. I thought I was a
goner when that Jaffa found me. Someone saw us and
took a shot, almost hitting me in the process. After
that we took out the last of them and began setting up
camp, waiting for a transport.
I found the woman in charge and she assured me that
she would send word as soon as communications were up
and running. But I couldn’t just sit there and
wait; I had to do something. I decided to make my
way back to the stargate and wait for Carter there.
~*~
I was getting restless. I wanted to get back to the
stargate but these people still needed my help.
Communications were back up with headquarters for a
few of the camps but so far no one had seen or heard
from Colonel O’Neill.
I decided to take a walk around the edge of the camp.
It was a beautiful sunny day and I needed to clear my
head and refocus. I found a nice shady tree and
leaned back against it, looking up to the sky, as if
willing the transport to come.
Then I heard footsteps.
~*~
It was so damn hot that I cursed myself for not
waiting for the transport. I was nearly out of water
and was hoping to find another camp or at least a
decent water supply.
I heard sounds and followed them. A camp. No Jaffa,
except a few dead ones, were to be seen so I knew it
was a liberated camp. I figured I’d rest up, get some
water and then either wait for a transport or continue
on. I just wanted to find out if there was any word
about Carter.
And then I saw a flash of blonde hair.
~*~
I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I was very tired
and the Colonel had been on my mind so I thought I was
hallucinating.
And then he walked straight towards me, that familiar
confused look on his face. I know I had the same
expression. As he got closer, he stopped just in
front of me, and gently reached out and touched my
cheek. I returned the gesture, feeling his new beard.
“I see you’ve got some extra hair.”
v
He pushed an errant strand of my hair behind my ear
“You too.”
We finally smiled at each other and I couldn’t help
but let a few tears flow through my laughter.
“I wasn’t sure if I would ever see you again.” I told
him as I kept touching his face, I had to know he was
real, that it wasn’t a dream.
I could tell there was a joke on his lips but then he
changed his mind, “me either.”
We just stood there trying to make sure that it wasn’t
a dream. After a few moments, I took his hand and we
walked silently back to the camp.
~*~
Seeing her standing there leaning against the tree was
the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. Sure she
looked tired and hungry and pale but she was alive and
that was all I wanted to see.
After the reality set in that we were both alive, she
led me back to the camp where I was able to get some
water and a half way decent meal. A transport was due
the next day so we took the time to relax and be
thankful that we’d be going home soon.
I don’t think I left her side the whole evening. I
had her back and until we were back on Earth, I wasn’t
letting her out of my sight.
~*~
The Colonel never let me out of his sight. But then,
I never let him out of mine. We would be going home
soon and I didn’t want anything to happen.
That night we decided to share a room. I had so many
warring emotions going on inside me and I knew we were
both vulnerable. Still, he held out his hand for me
to lie next to him and I didn’t hesitate. We both
needed a little comfort.
For the first time since arriving on Tollan, I was
able to get a decent night’s sleep. And by the
snoring I heard in my ear throughout the night, I
think the Colonel slept pretty well himself.
~*~
I do not snore.
~*~
Narim woke us up the next morning with news that the
transport would be arriving shortly. After deflecting
his attempts at trying to get me to admit feelings for
my commanding officer, I think finding me lying in his
arms defeated anything I had said previously.
I caught up with Narim and was going to try to explain
but I saw that he wouldn’t believe me anyway so I just
looked at him and said “Finding him alive and having
this time with him, that’s my story.”
Narim was gracious enough not to say I told you so and
then I gave him a hug and thanked him for everything.
The transport arrived and we happily took our seats.
I looked out over the terrain we had covered as we ran
for our lives, as we searched for hope and found it.
I looked over at Jack and found him looking out the
window, I’m pretty sure he was thinking the same
thing. He took my hand and we watched as this
nightmare was coming to an end. We found each other
and it was only the beginning.
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