What Will Happen Now?
by Bryn
EMAIL: buddygirl19@yahoo.com (bambam126@hotmail.com
will still work too)
STATUS: complete
RATING: G
CATEGORY: D/J, little bit of angst
SPOILERS: i don't think so...
SEASON: oh i dunno, sometime during the show...
SUMMARY: Janet's reaction when Daniel falls into a
coma
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and
Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment not monetary purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended. Previously unrecognised characters and
places, and this story, are copyrighted to the
authors. Any similarity to real persons, living or
dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
As the saying goes, the ball is in his court. He
knows now – everything. How I feel, how much I think
about him, and what I want. I laid my heart on the
line then asked him one question: What will happen
now?
I hadn’t meant to. I was perfectly content to admire
him from afar, to appreciate his smiles from across
the briefing room table, but I hadn’t counted on there
ever being a time where something would happen to him
that I couldn’t make better. I took for granted that
being his doctor I’d always be able to save him, and
this time I just wasn’t sure.
SG-1 came back early. The call for me to come to the
‘Gate room came just a second later. I thought I’d
seen the worst when I spotted the nasty gash in the
Colonel’s thigh, but then I noticed Teal’c holding up
Daniel, who was unconscious, with blood pouring from
his head. Hours later and he laid in a coma on one of
my medical beds. Medical science has come so far and
yet at times it seems to be able to do so little.
Telling SG-1 was no joy. Colonel O’Neill got angry
and stormed off. Sam looked about ready to cry, held
Daniel’s hand for a while, then too wandered off to be
alone. Teal’c and General were as stoic as ever,
trying to be the strength and reason, but I saw
something in them break as well. For all the times
Daniel had gotten hurt, no one ever thought anything
could kill him. He was Daniel, he wasn’t supposed to
die.
And I was the doctor, I was supposed to make him
better. When I said there was nothing I could do, I
could feel contempt from every one of them. They
didn’t have to say anything; their anger, their pain,
and their walking away said it all. By letting Daniel
down I was letting them down too, and they took it
personally. None of them ever imagined that maybe
this was hurting me too.
I went through a whole range of emotions the first few
hours of waiting: anger, grief, guilt, denial,
wishing, and, at last, desperation. I locked myself
in my office and cried until dehydration stopped that,
and then I went and sat by his bed, pretending to
monitor his life signs. At last, sometime in the
middle of the night when the infirmary was empty and
nearly quiet, the doctor’s mask fell and I was left as
me, watching my friend lying helpless in a hospital
bed. That’s when the confession I’d vowed never to
make slipped past my lips. In that moment I didn’t
think about whether he could hear me or not, I didn’t
really care, it was just something that had to be said
aloud, perhaps because I feared that otherwise it
would forever stay a secret that should’ve been
shared.
I opened my mouth and all of it poured out. It didn’t
take long, there wasn’t much to say, only that for a
long time now I’d cared about him more than a doctor,
more than a friend. I never would have said anything
except that watching him die was ripping my heart out.
I stayed with him for a few more hours, hoping and
praying to an infinite number of gods. Finally
exhaustion caught up with me and I somehow made my way
back to my quarters, falling onto my bed fully clothed
and into a light, troubled slumber.
The on-call nurse woke me at six, saying there had
been a change. I’d never been so happy to wake up
early. Daniel was awake. The swelling in his brain
had gone down and he was going to be all right with
lots of rest. SG-1 were by his side immediately and
General Hammond watched over them like a protective
father. I faded into the background.
I finally shooed everyone out of the infirmary and did
another follow-up exam on Daniel, just to be sure.
That’s when he stopped me. A hand on my forearm. No
words, just a look, and I knew he had heard. They’d
always said that patients in comas could possibly hear
what’s said around them, but I guess I’d never really
believed it.
So now I wait, wondering what he’s thinking. My fate,
my heart lies in his hands. Only he knows the answer
to my question. Only he knows what will happen now.
“You seem to be my guardian angel.”
“You pulled through this one by yourself. There was
nothing I could do.”
“Maybe not medically, but you did something, and
that’s why I pulled through.”
He slips his hand into mine, then pulls it to his
chest. Giving me a small smile, he closes his eyes
and drifts off to sleep.
Copyright (c) Bryn 2001
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