Upgraded Emotions
by SaraC
E-MAIL: silk1023@aol.com
STATUS: Complete
RATING: PG-13
SEASON: Through and post “Upgrades”
SPOILERS: Through and post “Upgrades”
CATEGORY: D/J, Post-ep
SUMMARY: Janet wants a little more respect from SG-1 (and a lot more affection from one archaeologist/anthropologist)
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Never will be. I own nothing but the plot!
“They’re gone?”
Janet Fraiser knew her voice sounded panicky, but she figured it was a well-earned feeling at the moment.
“Apparently they decided to disobey orders and go ahead with this mission.” General Hammond’s voice held a barely contained fury as he looked at the CMO of Cheyenne Mountain.
“But their vital signs, the fact that they’re suffering from a virus, they know how much danger they’re in-”
“That they do, Doctor, but the armbands must be acting, as you said, like a narcotic.”
“Not helped by their own preferences to disobey orders when the occasion warrants,” she muttered under her breath, stiffening as an unwelcome figure approached.
“Excuse me, General, Doctor, but they are in top physical form, I do not see what this mission could hurt-”
“You!” Janet’s voice was sharp and she was only glad that she knew how to control the biting fury rising in it. “Your armbands have most likely put SG-1 in danger, possibly at risk of losing their lives!”
“I think you are over reacting Doctor Fraiser-”
“Anise.” The General’s voice was cold and hard and sober enough to shut even the outspoken Tok’ra up. “If anything happens to my people, I want you to know I will hold the Tok’ra partly responsible.”
With that, the General turned and strode from the room, the only visible sign he was barely holding onto his temper the clenched fists at his sides.
Janet could think of quite a few things she wanted to say to the woman standing in front of her, but right now, she was too angry and upset to do anything more than walk away. It was better than putting her fist directly into Anise’s face.
Walking quickly towards her office, she alternated between wanting to murder Anise and wanting to strangle SG-1. Her hands clenched into tighter fists as she remembered the way the SGC’s flagship team had reacted to all her advice.
All she’d wanted to do was alert them that they were putting themselves in physical danger, that these armbands were more like heroine than hero making. She’d been trying to save their lives so they’d live to fight another day. But they’d ignored her advice, they’d directly disobeyed her medical orders and worst of all, they had chosen to go with the advice of a Tok’ra, a stranger, not to mention a part alien, over her. She refused to dwell on the fact that it might also have had something to do with the looks both Daniel and the Colonel had been giving Anise.
Still, it smarted that they were willing to ignore her, make her feel as if she were in the wrong. She was their doctor; her first concern was for their health, although their friendship was equally important.
Still, she smarted at the annoyance she’d heard in Sam’s voice as she’d tried to convince her friend to take the armband off. The downright mean tone in which the woman she considered her best friend had used had hurt more than she’d realized, even though she knew it was all under the aphrodisiac the armbands seemed to provide.
The outright disagreement of the Colonel was to be expected, she was used to fighting him tooth and nail on a daily basis. Still, his words never held the malicious tone they had taken on in the past few days. Not to mention the fact that he would submit to anything Anise suggested without question. It rankled on both a personal and professional level.
But what really hurt was the way that Daniel too seemed to be infatuated with their Tok’ra liaison. She’d never seen him so seemingly entranced with anyone since Kira. She’d hoped to get him to talk about it, through one of their weekly lunches they’d taken to having, but in the past few weeks, he’d been “unavailable.” At first, she’d taken him at his word, knowing how busy he was thanks to a myriad of Gou’ald artifacts SG-9 had brought back a few weeks ago.
But when she’d walked into the cafeteria to grab a salad, ten minutes after he’d told her he was too mired in work to take a break for lunch, she’d seen him sitting close to Anise. Obviously he was not too busy to have lunch with the Tok’ra. She’d turned tail and walked out of the cafeteria without a backward glance, trying to rationalize the pang that had shot through her heart at the sight.
If she was this affected from seeing him talking with another woman, even though it was after he’d rejected her offer of lunch, she couldn’t imagine what she might have been feeling if she’d actually asked him out on a date, like she’d been contemplating for weeks.
The rest of the day had seemed intolerable, especially since it involved several more confrontations with SG-1, all of which ended up with them saying they were going to visit Anise since she obviously was “not trying to sabotage” this mission.
She’d bitten her tongue and attended to her other patients, hiding her frustration and holding back her tears until she was finally alone in her office. After a few moments of self-pity, she’d steeled her emotions again and headed back to work.
Now, to realize that SG-1 had completely disregarded her warnings of the danger they’d be putting themselves in, not to mention General Hammond’s direct orders, well, she was tempted to hand in her resignation right now. Obviously, they did not have enough faith in her to believe she had their best interests at heart.
It hurt.
But she was a professional, and as always, she had to act like one. Which meant showing no outward signs of her inner distress. Although she made a mental note to use an extra large needle on all three of them when they got back. Because she was not going to think about the idea that they might not return.
Sighing, she returned to the stacks of paperwork, trying to comfort herself with the mental image of punching Anise in the face.
~*~*~*~*~
An hour later she found her temper strained to the breaking point as she paced her office, wondering if and when SG-1 might return. The only saving grace at the moment was that Anise had made herself scarce, realizing that she was not welcome. Especially after admitting, without words, that she’d been planning, along with the Tok’ra, for this outcome from the beginning.
If she had thoroughly disliked Anise before, she now hated the woman with a passion. Of course, she couldn’t let that feeling show, considering the woman was still a representative of the Tok’ra delegation and there were relations to think of. However, she had never been more proud to be under General Hammond’s command as she had been when he’d told the Tok’ra exactly what he’d thought of their plan and his manipulation through it.
She also could not quite let go of the anger she felt towards the three members of SG-1 and their casual dismissal of her earlier. She knew it was not really their personalities she was dealing with, but it was a worrisome glimpse into the type of people they could possibly become if ever given the amount of power wielded by the Gou’ald.
She hated thinking about her friends this way, but right now, her mind was too convoluted with varying emotions, the most prevalent her concern for SG-1.
The sound of the alarms and klaxons stirred both a fear and a hope inside her as she raced for the gate room, noting the General was hurrying down the hall in front of her. She pushed aside Anise, uncaring if the move was a bit harsher than she’d normally use. Reaching the ramp, she held her breath as the event horizon shimmered away, hiding the answer to all her questions.
She jumped as four bodies came hurtling through the gate, which quickly shut down seconds later. Pushing aside her fear, she motioned for her nurses and raced up the ramp along with the General, relieved to see the four seemed to be aware and alert, although somewhat weakened.
Sam, Jack and Daniel, however, were without the armbands.
The fury that had been burning inside her for days began to rage, and it took every effort she could muster to hold it in while she tended to SG-1. She wasn’t sure if she was more angry with Anise and the Tok’ra for exposing her friends to this, or for SG-1 for going blindly along with it, without question.
“Are you all right?” Her voice was clipped, but she hoped they’d attribute it to the stress of the moment.
“Fine, just a little bruised.” The words were from Daniel, who looked rather sheepish and definitely paler than usual. Moving to his side, she grabbed his wrist, taking his pulse and placing her free hand on his forehead, noting it felt a little warm. Still, he was in one piece and that made all the difference.
“Ouch!” She winced at Daniel’s whimper, gentling her grip as she determined that other than a few bumps and bruises, he would live. Still, the thought that she’d almost lost him, lost all three of them, and Teal’c in an attempt to save them made her feel nauseous.
Turning her attention to Sam, who had struggled to her feet with Teal’c’s help, she quickly assessed that her friend was fine, although suffering from a sprained ankle and elevated temperature. Jack looked about the same and thankfully Teal’c looked his usual self.
She was glad nothing seemed seriously wrong because it was taking an enormous effort to refrain from saying something bitingly hard and inappropriate for the situation. She vaguely heard General Hammond ask if the Gou’ald ship had been destroyed and breathed a sigh of relief as Jack gave an affirmative reply.
“Allow me to apologize, we did not know about the immunity until after you’d left.” It was Freya’s voice that filled the room, and Janet had to fight down another urge to punch the woman. A second later, that urge was intensified by Anise’s voice.
“While we are sorry about the danger, I would like to run some tests to see how the antibodies affected you and if there are any residual effects to the armbands-”
“No.” The quiet fury in Janet’s voice startled everyone, especially
SG-1, who looked at the petite doctor in concern. “SG-1 is going straight to the infirmary where I will conduct my tests, geared first and foremost to making sure their organs are properly functioning and not in the process of shutting down.”
Turning with a hard glare for the four in question, she continued in a hard voice. “I expect you all in the infirmary ASAP.” Knowing she could not stay another minute without loosing it, she strode from the room without a backward glance.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Three of the four members of SG-1 looked at each other in confusion as their doctor walked out on them.
“Um, what’s wrong with her?” Jack’s voice was a little confused as he looked over at Sam as if his 2IC would have the answer.
“I don’t know, she’s probably stressed and worried about us.” Sam was still trying to struggle with her desire to strangle Anise, who stood watching them with a wary expression.
Daniel winced at Sam’s words. He had a pretty good idea why Janet seemed so upset, and he really couldn’t blame her. Still, he didn’t want to bring it up, especially with Anise watching.
“I do believe we should report to the infirmary. DoctorFraiser does not seem in a mood to be kept waiting.”
“Well put, T. I suspect a rather large needle will be coming my way if we don’t get there soon.” Jack sighed as he turned and headed for the door. He made it a point to ignore Anise even as she called out to him.
Teal’c and Sam followed Jack, and Daniel had to admit, he was proud of Sam’s curt response to Anise’s question of whether or not they’d brought the armbands back with them. He felt his own ire rise at her insensitivity.
His mind was already contemplating the ways to try and make things up to Janet. He’d realized pretty much as soon as the armband fell off that they’d all treated her pretty rotten, when all she’d been doing was her job, trying to keep them safe. In fact, he knew that her added concern for them as friends had made her efforts more determined, more personal, only to be rejected by all three of them.
But, he kept trying to tell himself that it was the armband that had made him act that way. He would never disregard Janet’s advice so blatantly, especially if it meant his organs could shut down and he could die. But at the time, he hadn’t been thing with anything but the desire to play out his new “power” he’d acquired, a desire his friends and teammates seemed to feel as well. And if he were honest, he had to admit that it had felt good to be stronger than normal.
Still, it didn’t excuse how they’d treated Janet, and General Hammond, now that he thought about it. He wondered if the General would be court marshaling and/or firing them all, and personally, he wouldn’t blame the man for doing either.
“Daniel, I don’t suppose you managed to keep one of the armbands-”
He turned angry eyes to the Tok’ra, who shrank back at his expression. “I think Sam already told you, we had other things to worry about. Like our lives.” Turning on his heel, he stalked off after his friends, still trying to figure out how to apologize to Janet.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“You’re going to be fine, Colonel. No internal injuries and aside from a slightly elevated temperature, I see no reason that you can’t go.”
Jack sighed at the impersonal tone in Janet’s voice. She’d been that way since they’d entered the infirmary. Professional for sure, but the usual care with which she treated him, not to mention the spark of wry humor he’d come to depend on, was missing.
“You’re sure, Doc? No other tests to run to make sure that those antibodies are not, um, antibodying?”
Janet rubbed her forehead, biting back the sharp remark that she wanted to make. It wouldn’t be professional and all she really wanted was to get these exams over with and get to the privacy of her office, away from SG-1.
“You’re fine, Colonel. Now go. Before I find a reason to stick a bigger needle in your butt.”
Jack nodded, realizing that it would do no good to press her further. He could easily spot someone on the edge of an explosion and Janet was teetering. He only hoped one of his other team members could do something to help.
“Will do, thanks Doc.” With a significant look at Sam, he followed Teal’c out the door, the Jaffa having been pronounced fit as well.
Sam sighed as her best friend moved to her side, checking the monitors around her and taking her pulse. She too had noticed Janet’s curt manner and begun to realize it might have something to do with how she’d treated her friend while wearing the armband.
“Your ankle is sprained, but not broken and your temperature is elevated as well Sam, but everything else looks fine. You should be okay to go. Just get some rest and keep off that ankle.”
Sam bit her lip, attempting to find something to say to her friend to make things right.
“Janet, I’m sorry.” It was trite, but she couldn’t think of anything else. The flash in the eyes staring at her made her wince, but she would not give up. “I know we acted like idiots, and I can’t say how sorry we are-”
“You were under the influence of the narcotic like effects of the armband.” Janet was pleased her voice remained cool. She felt the headache coming on and knew that if she didn’t get her friend out of the room she’d truly lose it.
Sam sighed, deciding to try again. “Still, it doesn’t excuse how rude I was to you. I’m sorry-”
“Forget it, Sam.” She deliberately made her voice curt, but attempted a small smile. “Now get out of here before I find a reason to keep you!”
Sam knew better than to push Janet when she was in this mood. With a small sigh, she figured it would be better to chat with her teammates and come up with a strategy to show Janet how sorry they were and how much they respected and appreciated her.
“Okay, but are we on for our weekly lunch tomorrow?”
Janet sighed, unsure of how she’d feel in the morning. “Call me, I’ll check my schedule and let you know.”
Sam knew it was the best she could get, so with an uneasy smile, she slid off the table and hobbled to the door. As she passed the bed that had been unofficially declared “Dr. Jackson’s” she shot her friend a desperate look.
Daniel sighed, knowing that it was now up to him to try and redeem SG-1 in Janet’s eyes. Although, he had a feeling it would be a little more difficult to redeem himself. In the back of his mind, he seemed to remember brushing off his usual Monday lunch date with the petite doctor for a chat with Anise.
“So, Daniel, any other major or minor injuries you need to tell me about before I let you go too?” It was an effort for Janet to keep her voice calm, especially when having to look into his far too expressive eyes. She tried to remember her anger at him and his teammates, but that look of his could weaken even the strongest woman.
“I’m okay, just a little bumped and bruised, nothing I’m sure you can’t fix.” He winced as her eyes flashed at his words, realizing too late that he might have opened a can of worms. Still, if it got her to let it out, to let the anger go, well, he’d take it. Not to mention he still felt that he, and most of SG-1, deserved it.
“I’m so glad your faith in my capabilities has returned. Shame it took you nearly being killed to remember.” She knew the words were bitter, but the anger was boiling up again. Turning to look at the chart she held, she tried to control her breathing, not wanting to get into this at the moment.
“Janet, you know that it wasn’t us talking, you know it was the armbands-”
She whirled around, her eyes blazing, the chart she held dropping to the floor. Despite the fact that he was a little scared, he had to admit, she was magnificent when she was angry.
“Yes, Daniel. I know it was the armbands, it’s the perfect excuse to justify the fact that one taste of “invincibility” and a pretty face were the only things it took to have you second guessing and ignoring your doctor’s advice.” She hissed the words, thankful there was no one else close by to hear. The anger and hurt were boiling over and it looked like it would be Daniel who would bear the brunt of it.
“Janet-” Daniel tried again to interrupt, but her raised hand had him shrinking back onto the hospital bed. Telling himself it was good that she was getting this out, he still couldn’t help but feel remorse as he realized she was completely justified.
“Do you have any idea how much danger you three were in? Any idea what could have happened if those antibodies did not kick in before your organs failed? The fact that if it hadn’t been for Teal’c, you all would have been killed on that damned Gou’ald ship? Did you even stop to think what that would have done to the people back here, to the General, to Cassie, to me?”
She couldn’t help the tear that slid down her cheek, cursing herself that she’d slipped and revealed more than she wanted about her feelings with her last sentence. Seeing something she did not want to analyze at the moment in Daniel’s eyes, she turned and quickly wiped away the tear, refusing to let him speak as he tried again.
“Janet, you have to understand, we never meant to hurt you, or anyone-”
“Well, that makes me feel so much better. What happens the next time one of our allies shows up and asks you to test some new weapon? Will you all fall into the same trap only to really get yourselves killed?” She gathered up her courage, turning and looking him directly in the eye before finishing. “I don’t know if I can handle being disregarded and ridiculed for my caution by people I thought respected me and my medical opinion. I don’t know if I want to.”
Her heart softened slightly at the truly agonized look in his eyes, but she quickly pushed the feelings down, unwilling to be swayed from her anger at the moment.
“You’re fine, Daniel. Go home and get some rest, I’ve given you your usual painkillers. Call the infirmary if anything changes.” Without even a backwards glance, she strode out of the infirmary, leaving a speechless and worried Daniel staring after her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Guys, I think we really, really screwed up with Janet.” Daniel sighed as he sipped his coffee from his seat in front of Jack’s desk.
“I take it you weren’t able to get much out of her either?” Sam looked at him in concern.
Jack’s eyebrows rose at his friend’s harsh laugh.
“Oh, I got it out of her, I just didn’t expect how hurt and upset she was over the way we treated her and disregarded her concern for our health.” He morosely looked down into his coffee cup, wondering what in the world they could do to make this right.
“DanielJackson is right. I observed DoctorFraiser to be very worried and frustrated with your attitudes and treatment of the Tok’ra Anise.” Teal’c’s words drew the attention in the room to him. The tall Jaffa simply raised an eyebrow as Jack replied.
“Well, the Doc does tend to overreact with our safety at times-”
“You believe that internal organ failure is overreacting, Jack?” Daniel couldn’t help the ire in his voice, although he shut up quickly at the look his friend shot him.
“Well, our organs are now fine, Anise is gone and we’re all alive to fight another day. I’d think the Doc would be overjoyed.” He looked to his 2IC for confirmation, frowning at the reproachful look she was giving him.
“I do believe DoctorFraiser is not happy with the fact that you disobeyed her orders and chose to listen to the Tok’ra instead of herself. Is this wrong, O’Neill?”
Jack sighed, running a hand over his head, wincing at the slight bump he found there that hadn’t quite healed yet.
“I think its more than just disregarding orders.” Sam looked at her friends sadly as she continued. “I was pretty rude to her on several occasions. It definitely was not how friends, best friends at that, should treat each other. I guess I didn’t realize how much I hurt her.”
Daniel sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I guess I was pretty insensitive too. I blew off several of our Monday lunches to have lunch with Anise.” He paused as Jack raised an eyebrow.
“So, she was a visiting Tok’ra working with us on an experiment-”
“I told Janet I couldn’t eat with her because I had to work.” The admission was sheepish, but he didn’t need to look up to know what his friend was thinking.
“Danny, what part of you thought that one through? You had to have known there was a darn good chance Janet would see you with Anise-”
“Don’t give him a hard time without looking at yourself, Sir.” Sam’s irate words drew all three males attention. Giving her CO a reproachful look, she went on. “I seem to recall several meetings we had scheduled that fell by the wayside so you could have dinner with Anise. Trust me, Daniel wasn’t the only one who didn’t pay attention to the fact that someone would see you.”
Sam knew the bitterness was unfair, but it still rankled to think of how Jack had looked at the Tok’ra. It was as if he’d never seen a woman before, and that was rather insulting, even though she knew he couldn’t look at her that way because of regulations. But it was the principle of the matter.
“This is getting us nowhere,” Jack said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he recognized the truth in Sam’s words. “What we need to focus on is how to get back into the Doc’s good graces and make up for the fact that we all acted like a bunch of fools.”
Teal’c raised an eyebrow as he rose from his seat. “I wish you luck in your endeavors, O’Neill. I believe I will retire now, since I have no need of your plan.” At their incredulous looks, he replied in his normal stoic tone, “DoctorFraiser has no reason to be displeased with me.” With that, he turned and left the room. The three watching his back would have been stunned to see a genuine smile gracing his features as he headed back to his room.
“Well, talk about solidarity,” Jack muttered, earning reproachful looks from Sam and Daniel.
“I’m guessing this means we’re on our own. Any suggestions?” Daniel made the request with a sigh as the three friends stared at each other, no one having a clue what to say or do to make things right.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Janet had never been happier to end a day than she had this one. After her loss of control with Daniel, she’d hidden herself in her office under the excuse of catching up on paperwork. In truth, she just wanted to avoid everyone until her emotions calmed down.
When five o’clock rolled around with no other crisis to deal with, she packed up her things and headed for the elevator, determined to let nothing deter her.
Thankfully, no one interrupted her on her trek and she had to fight the slight feeling of hurt that none of her friends had at least tried again to apologize, or at the least, see what was wrong. She knew she hadn’t exactly been receptive to their earlier efforts, but something selfish deep inside of her had believed their friendship worth at least a second effort.
Reaching her car, she heaved a sigh of what could have been relief or disappointment. Climbing into the driver’s seat, she threw her purse across the seat and started the engine, her mind trying to block out everything but the thought of getting home and into a bubble bath.
/Would be a much nicer image if a certain archaeologist was sharing it with me/
She immediately forced the image from her mind, feeling stupid for even considering it when she was still mad at him. However, being mad did not do much to stop the fantasies she continued to have about the two of them, in all kinds of various situations.
She was startled out of her reverie by the ringing of her cell phone. Picking up the phone, she smiled, genuinely happy to hear her daughter’s voice.
“Hey, mom, you headed home yet?”
“I’m just pulling out of the parking lot at the moment, sweetie, everything okay?”
“Yes, except, we’re out of milk and I hoped you might pick some up on your way home?”
Janet laughed. “Not a problem, do we need anything else? I figured I could make chicken for dinner.”
“Sounds good, I think we’ve got everything else,” her daughter replied.
“Good then, I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.”
“Okay, bye mom. I love you.”
“Love you too, sweetie.” Janet’s smile remained as she clicked of the phone, coming to a stop at a red light. It was amazing how much better she felt after talking to Cassie. The sting of the days events were still there, but at least she had a nice night to look forward to with her daughter. Smiling, she pulled out into the intersection as the light changed.
The last thing she heard was the horrifying sound of metal on metal and the last thing she remembered was seeing a bright white light before everything went dark.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was now 7pm and the three members of SG-1 were still sitting around Jack’s office, no closer to a plan to redeem themselves with Janet.
“Maybe we should just sit her down and make her hear us out. Direct confrontation seems to be her style as well,” Jack offered, getting groans from his teammates.
“Right. We’ve been over this Jack. Talking is just not going to cut it. You know how stubborn she can be when she’s in a mood like this.” Sam knew her voice was strained but she was tired and worried about her friend.
“Well, there’s always the option of letting Danny do it for us, he can wine and dine her and maybe she’ll forgive him first.”
Daniel shot Jack a disbelieving look. “You think she’d actually agree to a dinner with me, after everything that’s happened? What part of “crazy and delusional” don’t you understand, Jack?”
Jack’s reply was cut off by the ringing of the phone on his desk.
Holding up a hand for silence, he picked up the receiver and grumbled his usual, “O’Neill.”
Sam and Daniel sat up straighter as his face suddenly paled and his “Cassie, slow down, what happened?” penetrated the dead silence that had fallen over the office.
A few moments later, Jack ended the conversation with a “we’ll be right there. Don’t worry, honey, everything is going to be okay.”
Turning to the other two, he was already rising from his seat. “Janet was in a car accident.” He held up a hand as two concerned voices tried to question him. “I don’t know any more than that. Cassie got the call, she’s waiting at home for us to get her.”
“Where’d they take her?” Sam was already headed for the door, the others close behind.
“Colorado Springs General.” The words were terse as the three made for the elevators. Stopping only to pick up Teal’c on the way, they remained silent for the rest of the ride to the Fraiser home.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“We’re here for Janet Fraiser, she was brought in about a half hour ago.” Daniel tried to keep his voice calm as he addressed the nurse behind the desk, Sam, Jack and Teal’c having guided Cassie to one of the hospital waiting room chairs.
The nurse looked at him sympathetically. “Are you her husband?” The words shook him for a moment, but the answer was instinctive. “No, I’m her fiancée.” He wasn’t sure where the words came from, but something in his mind was recalling that only family members were usually let in to see patients. What a time to remember that.
“Okay, then, Mr.-”
“Doctor Daniel Jackson.”
“Okay, Doctor Jackson, you fiancée is in surgery at the moment. She was brought in with major head and upper body trauma. That’s all I can say at the moment.”
Daniel felt himself reeling as the words “head trauma” echoed in his mind. Clutching onto the ledge in front of him, he managed to nod. “Thank you,” he whispered, moving in a daze over to where the others waited.
“What did the nurse say about mom?” Cassie’s frightened voice made Daniel’s throat clench. Kneeling in front of the young woman, he took her hands and squeezed.
“You mom is in surgery at the moment. The nurse said she didn’t know much more than that for the moment.” He figured it was best not to alarm Cassie further by mentioning the more serious aspects of what he’d been told. However, he avoided the piercing looks his three teammates were giving him.
“When will we know anything?” The tentative hope in her voice made Daniel feel even worse. Without stopping to think, he opened his arms and the teen leaned forward into them, clutching onto him as if he were a lifeline.
“Not for a little while, all we can do right now is wait.” He whispered the words against her hair, rocking her gently as he felt Sam, Jack and Teal’c closing ranks around them.
“You want something to drink, Cassie?” Jack’s voice was calm, although there was a slight undertone to it that betrayed his worry.
“I’m fine, I just, I just want mom to be all right.” The whispered words drew a nod from the older man.
“Then you guys wait here, I’m going to call Hammond and let him know the situation.”
“I’ll go with you, I think we could all use some coffee.” Sam squeezed Daniel’s shoulder and then Cassie’s before turning to leave with her CO.
“I too shall accompany MajorCarter. Unless you wish me to remain, CassandraFraiser?”
The teen sniffed, not lifting her head from Daniel’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Teal’c. I’ve got Daniel, I’ll be fine. But thanks.” The Jaffa nodded, rising and following the others from the room.
When they’d disappeared, Cassie finally lifted her head from Daniel’s shoulder and wiped her teary eyes. “Thanks,” she whispered, “sorry to break down like that.”
Daniel’s heart broke for her as well as he rose and settled them both into adjacent seats in the waiting room. “There’s nothing to apologize for, it’s a completely normal, human reaction, Cass. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
The teen managed a watery smile as she leaned against his side. “Well, at least we know mom’s a fighter, so she won’t give up easily.”
Daniel smiled. “You’re exactly right. If the Gou’ald can’t bring her down, nothing can.”
The two continued to sit in silence as time passed, joined soon by Sam, Jack and Teal’c. The five jumped every time a doctor entered the waiting room, only to sink back into their seats as some other worried family members were approached.
“I hate waiting!” Cassie’s plaintive cry was echoed by the others at her side.
“I know, sweetie, but if there was anything to tell, they’d be out here. She’s going to be fine, she has to be.” Sam hoped her words sounded reassuring, but part of her was consumed with the guilt that if, heaven forbid, Janet did not make it, her best friend would never know how sorry she was for acting so stupid.
Jack remained silent, battling his own inner demons. He and Janet had been through a lot together, both before and during their time at the SGC. He’d worked with her when he’d first joined up, and although neither spoke of it, the information being classified, he had come to consider her a friend and confidant that he could not do without.
However, all avoidance aside, he knew he’d screwed up by disregarding her orders and her years of friendship. And if she died without him getting a chance to tell her that, he didn’t know if he could handle the guilt that would remain.
Daniel too was lost in his own thoughts, trying desperately to convince himself that she would wake up and be able to hear the confession he now realized he’d waited too long to make. The thought of her dying without ever knowing how much he cared about her was unbearable. He’d already lost one woman he’d loved. He didn’t think he could survive losing another.
“Excuse me, are you Doctor Fraiser’s fiancée?”
At the words, Daniel immediately came back to the present and jumped from his seat, nodding as he ignored the surprised looks on the faces around him.
“Yes, Doctor. Is she going to be all right?” The desperation in his voice was a palpable thing, felt by everyone in the room, including the solemn looking doctor.
“It’s too soon to tell. She suffered numerous broken bones and we had to remove her spleen, but those should heal with time. However, those injuries are not what we’re worried about.”
The doctor took a deep breath as he noted the fear on the faces before him. Trying to soften the blow, he stated the facts as gently as possible.
“Doctor Fraiser suffered a major trauma to the head. We did a CAT scan and there seems to be some swelling on the brain, but not enough to merit surgery at the moment. However, she has slipped into a coma and we won’t know anything else until and if she wakes up.”
Daniel felt his world graying as he swayed on his feet. He barely heard Cassie’s soft whimper, or felt Jack walk over to place a steadying hand on his shoulder.
“Brain damage?”
Daniel fought down the nausea at Jack’s words, his eyes locking on the doctor’s as they waited for an answer.
“We really don’t know at the moment. Like I said, until she wakes up, we can’t tell how serious an effect the swelling in her brain has had. I’m sorry I can’t offer you more than that.”
Daniel could only nod, trying to accept what he’d been told.
“Can we see her?” He was surprised he managed to get the words out, standing only by the power of Jack’s hand on his shoulder.
The doctor sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “She’s in ICU right now, but when she comes out, I think you might be able to have a few minutes with her.”
Nodding, Jack thanked the doctor and steered Daniel towards the chairs. The archaeologist remained silent as he sank into the seat, his eyes glazed as he once again tried to face the reality of the situation.
“Mom’s not going to be brain dead. She’s too strong to allow it.”
Cassie’s words finally penetrated the fog he was in, and he turned watery eyes to the young woman sitting next to him. Cassie looked terrible, her own eyes filled with tears, but it heartened him to see the hope that lingered at the back of those orbs.
“You’re exactly right, Cass. The Doc has faced worse situations and nothing has beaten her yet.” Jack hoped his words sounded more confident than he felt.
“Janet’s a fighter, and knowing what she’s got to come back to, I wouldn’t be surprised if she shocks everyone and wakes up within a few hours.” Sam deliberately made her voice light, for Cassie’s sake, despite the growing fear that her words would be proven false.
Daniel remained silent, unable to speak around the lump in his throat, not able to express what he was feeling. It was only the soft feel of a hand in his that brought him back to the awareness that Cassie was looking at him intently.
“Don’t give up on her yet, Daniel.” The fearful determination in the teen’s voice did more for his heart than anything could. Reaching over, he pulled Cassandra into his arms, holding her tightly as she sniffled against his shoulder.
“I could never give up on your mom, Cass. She’s never given up on me.”
As he spoke the words, he realized they were completely true. She might be angry, she might be ready to send them all to hell, but she’d never given up on them. He had to believe she wouldn’t now.
“Well, I should hope so, considering you’re her fiancée, and just when did that happen, Daniel?”
Daniel sighed at Jack’s accusatory tone, almost having forgot the ruse he’d spun for the nurse. Turning to face his friend, he shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t know if they’d let anyone other than family in. It was the first thing that came to mind.”
Jack raised an eyebrow and was about to comment but Sam cut him off. “It’s probably for the best. They’ll probably tell a fiancée more than a friend.”
The four lapsed into silence, having nothing else to say as they each contemplated the situation and what happened next.
“Did you talk to General Hammond?”
Jack started at Daniel’s voice, nodding in reply. “He wanted to come down here but I told him until we knew more, it was probably better if he didn’t. He did offer to pull a few strings if we needed them, however.”
Daniel simply nodded, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he tried to think positive thoughts. He halted mid-action, jumping to his feet as he saw the doctor approach again.
“She’s out of ICU and resting quietly. You can see her, but only one at a time and no more than three or four minutes each. Right now, she needs rest to heal.”
Daniel nodded, turning as Cassie rose. “Cass, you want to go see your mom first?” It was an effort to refrain from declaring himself Janet’s first visitor, but he knew her daughter truly deserved that right.
“Thanks, Daniel.” Cassie gave him a quick hug before following the doctor from the room. Sinking back to his seat, he barely registered the arm Sam slipped around his shoulders.
“She’s really going to be okay, Daniel. And when she wakes up, the first thing she’s going to see is all of us, and realize how much we love her.”
Daniel shook his head, the despair he’d kept hidden from Cassie now evident in his voice. “But what if she doesn’t wake up? She was so mad at us, at me, before this happened. If she dies thinking we don’t care about her-”
“Don’t even think like that, Danny.” Jack’s voice was sharp and commanding as he broke into the archaeologist’s ramblings. “Janet might be angry at us, but she knows we care about her, and if you get up the guts to ask her out, you’ll put her, no to mention all of us, out of our misery.”
Daniel looked at his friend in surprise, frowning when Jack gave a mirthless laugh.
“Don’t look so shocked, Danny. It’s been pretty obvious that you two have feelings for each other.”
Turning to look at Sam, Daniel found an expression of agreement on her face. “You knew too, Sam?”
The older woman nodded, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “She hasn’t exactly been secretive about the fact she’d like to get to know you better.” Looking conflicted, she decided to reveal something else, if only to ease the look of pain in her friend’s eyes.
“She’s been wanting to ask you out for a few months now, but hasn’t been sure how to do it. I told her you would say yes, but she was nervous. She was nearly about to when Anise arrived. She couldn’t have come at a worse time,” she finished, bitterness in her voice for, he suspected, more than just his deference to the Tok’ra.
“This is true, DanielJackson. I have noticed that DoctorFraiser favors you.”
Daniel stared at Teal’c in surprise, not sure what to say to the Jaffa’s simple statement. Thankfully, Jack saved him from a reply.
“Well, regardless, she needs to know how you feel, how we all feel. And we’re going to tell her and make her realize that she can’t leave us.” Jack’s voice was strong and determined, despite his inner fear.
“If only it were that easy,” Daniel whispered, trailing off as a pale Cassandra walked back towards them. Rising from his seat, he held out his arms as she walked directly into them. Holding onto her tightly, he took a deep breath before speaking.
“How is she, Cass?”
The teenager looked at him with sad eyes. “She looks so pale, and she’s hooked up to so many monitors. I never realized how hard it must be for her to see me, or you guys for that matter, in the same position.”
Daniel closed his eyes, realizing she spoke the truth. He could only imagine what it must do to Janet to see them return from missions with life-threatening injuries.
“You think she’s up for another visitor?” Sam’s soft voice broke his reverie as he released Cassandra into Sam’s embrace.
“I think so. The doctor told me to keep talking to her, that she can hear us even if she can’t respond.”
“Go, Daniel.” Jack’s voice was calm and filled with understanding. Giving his best friend a grateful look, he walked quickly down the hall to the room he knew Janet was in.
Taking a deep breath, he paused at her door, praying for strength. With a confident stride, he entered the room, unprepared for the sight that greeted him. It felt like a truck had slammed into him, leaving him a crumpled, aching pile of flesh on the road.
Janet lay still and small in the huge hospital bed. Monitors beeped and blinked around her, what looked like hundreds of tubes and wires connecting her to the life giving equipment. She looked so pale and frail, so unlike he’d grown used to seeing her.
Moving carefully to her side, he felt a tear escape his control as he noted the bruises on her face, arms and legs.
“Oh, Janet. Why did this have to happen? Why now? Why to you?” The broken words evolved into a flood of tears as the impact of the past few hours finally hit. Uncaring of who might see, he dropped to his knees beside her bed, clutching her hand and burying his face against her side as he gave into the grief he’d been holding in all night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Janet wasn’t sure what had happened. The last thing she remembered was hanging up with Cassie. But now, it seemed things had changed.
There was pain, a lot of it. It literally felt as if she’d been run over by a bus, then trampled on by a herd of elephants. Struggling to open eyes she could feel tightly closed, she became aware of another sound through the pain filled haze.
Crying.
Someone was crying, and from the sounds of, as if their heart would break. She needed to see who, to find out who, to do what she could to comfort that person. Even in her own pain, she found herself wanting to do nothing more than comfort someone else obviously in pain.
Dragging her eyes open slowly, she moaned softly at the pain in her head as the overhead fluorescent lights of the hospital room glared in her eyes. But she fought the pain, using every ounce of strength to turn her head, to see the presence she could suddenly feel at her side.
“Janet?”
The voice was familiar, although for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why Daniel was crying his heart out next to her. Still, she needed to know.
“Daniel?” The word was whispered, her throat scratchy and dry. Before she could speak more, she was surprised to find the archeologist’s arms sliding gently around her, his head coming to rest against her shoulder as he gave her a gentle hug, unwilling it seemed, to let go.
Not that she was complaining. The pain seemed to fade significantly compared to the warmth of his arms and for a moment, she simply absorbed the feeling, uncaring of where she was or what was happening.
However, when it seemed Daniel had no inclination to move, she began to realize the strangeness of the situation. And the fact that Daniel Jackson, a man she’d been so angry at only a short time ago, was now holding onto her as if he’d never let her go.
It was an appealing thought, but one that could be addressed after she figured out what had brought them both to this position.
“Daniel, what happened?”
Daniel knew he had to let her go, but the feel of her in his arms, her soft breath and whispered words proving she was alive, was almost too much to bear leaving. Still, she sounded confused and if he were in her position, he’d feel the same.
With a small sigh, he pulled back, gently disentangling their arms but making sure to take her hand in his as he settled onto the chair he’d pulled up next to the bed.
“You were in an accident. Some idiot ran a red light and slammed into you. You had a lot of broken bones, and swelling in the brain,” he paused here, his voice catching at the memory of the horror of being told she might not awake.
“I’m okay, now. I suspect waking up will do a lot to alleviate the doctors’ worries of brain damage. I’m going to be okay, Daniel. I promise.”
He stared at her in amazement as her hand tightened on his. Here she was, newly awakened from a coma, bruised and battered, obviously in pain, and she was trying to make him feel better. It was so typically Janet that he found his eyes watering with a mixture of relief and hysterical amusement.
“I know you are, Janet. You’re a fighter, we all knew that. Besides, none of us could have made it without you. You’re a vital part of this family and we need you, even if we tend to take you for granted far too often.”
Janet smiled softly, knowing he referred to the stress and anger of the past few days. Somehow, that all seemed less important at the moment. Seeing just how much her accident had affected him, hearing his words, she had no doubt that her friends were just that, friends, and perhaps in Daniel’s case, maybe one day more?
The thought, and the look in his eyes, gave her a warm tingly feeling. She had a feeling Cassie would have something to say about that. Her eyes suddenly clouded as she realized she hadn’t asked about her daughter. “Cassie? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, she’s out in the lobby with Jack, Sam and Teal’c and I know she’s going to be ecstatic to see you’re awake. I’ll go get her and tell the others.” Smiling, hating to leave but knowing she needed time with her daughter, he went to rise.
“Daniel.”
Her soft words stopped him as her hand tightened on his. Turning, he found an expression in her eyes that literally stole his breath.
“What is it, Janet?”
Janet smiled into his eyes. The worry was still evident, along with the memory of his heart wrenching sobs. In that instant, she saw how much he cared for her, how much he needed her. And realized how much she needed him, in a myriad of ways.
“You’ll come back, and talk to me for a while?”
Daniel felt a huge grin sweep over his face. There was something in her eyes that gave him hope. It was a feeling he was determined to explore this time, instead of ignore.
“Of course. Far be it from me to show you I have just as good a bedside manner as my doctor.” With a wink, he decided to live daringly and placed a light kiss on her cheek. Seeing the delight in her eyes, he smiled again.
“I’ll be back, but there are a few other members of this family that are going to want to see you too.”
Janet smiled as she watched him go, her heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. Even the pain of her injuries was fading in the realization that despite her worries and fears, she had a family and a family that loved her at that.
Not that she wasn’t going to enjoy allowing them to make things up to her after their behavior of the past week.
Still, the feel of Daniel’s lips on her cheek went a long way to diffusing her anger, not to mention the pain she was in. She made a mental vow to find out how those lips would feel on hers. Just as soon as she had the strength to do something about it.
Closing her eyes, she settled back into her pillow, a smile on her face as she awaited her family.
~*~*~*~*~
The End
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