Unfamiliar Stars
By: Belinda
Email: Loc6401@cs.com
Disclaimer: Daniel and his friends belong to Showtime et al. No copyright
infringement is intended.
Pairing: Daniel/Janet
Category: Romance, POV
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Let's just say through the fourth season, just to be safe.
Summary: Daniel contemplates his feelings for Janet
Timeline: About a month after Sha're dies
Feedback: Love some.
Author's notes: Sorry, guys, but this hasn't been beta'd, so any mistakes
are entirely mine. This particular plot bunny bit me on the butt tonight and
demanded to be written now. This is quite possibly the shortest fic I have
ever written. Also, I'm sorry for the stream of consciousness thing, but I
have a cold, and OTC medication does strange things to the creative juices.
She touches me in my dreams. Not like a healer, with a confident hand, but
tentative, inquisitive, like a woman touching the object of her desire for
the first time. I lie here staring up at constellations no one from my world
has ever seen before and I think of her. I should be sleeping, but... It's
amazing how I never loose the wonder. How many alien skies have I slept
under? When did it stop being Sha're I wished I could share them with?
I think I've always been attracted to her, but I accepted that attraction as
a normal male reaction to a beautiful, desirable female, and shunted it
aside. I was a married man, after all. The dreams, the guilty fantasies, I
ignored as best I could. Don't misunderstand, I loved my wife. Desperately.
Still do. But, I think I started grieving for her years before she actually
died, as though a part of me knew there was no getting her back. It wasn't a
conscious loss of hope, I just... I'm rambling. I'm sorry.
And it wasn't just loneliness. I was lonely, yes, but there's so much more
to her than that. So much to respect and cherish, and... love. Do I love her?
I... I don't know. Maybe. I think it's too soon. I believed Sha're to be my
one true love. But she wasn't my soul mate. She couldn't be my true
partner, my equal. I see that now. Is Janet my soul mate? I think... I'll
have to think about this some more. Maybe for now I should just go on to
sleep. I'll see her tomorrow during our post mission physical. Maybe I'll
see if she wants me to tell her about this mission. Just talk. Give it
time. I think I could fall truly in love with her if I just give it time.
For now, I'll just dream of her touching me, under these unfamiliar stars.
END
26 November 2000
Belinda
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