Remember Me?
by Wendy Parkinson
E-MAIL: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
STATUS: Complete
RATING: PG
SEASON: Set during Fallen and Homecoming, season seven
SPOILERS: Meridian, Fallen and Homecoming
CATEGORY: Romance, Angst
SUMMARY: Janet remembers Daniel, then wishes that Daniel remembered her.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and
Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for
entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or
trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living
or dead, is coincidental.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Wendy's Stargate Fan Fiction
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/wendy.parkinson/stargate/index.htm
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No
flames please.
Copyright Wendy Parkinson March 2004
Janet opened the box and sighed. His glasses caught the sunshine streaming
through the window, winking at her provocatively. She gently picked them up
and put them on, turning towards the window. The tree outside swam dizzily
before her eyes. She took them off and blinked. Was it really a year since
he'd died? The tears pricked at her eyelids. When he'd gone she'd been
inconsolable, unable to function on anything but the most basic level for
weeks, but slowly, with the help of Cassie, the pain had become less sharp.
Now she could think about him and remember happy times. She was making
progress.
She replaced the glasses in the box and touched his toothbrush, twisting it
around in her fingers. They'd only been dating for a few months when he'd
died but it had been long enough for her to fall head over heels in love.
She lifted the toothbrush and sniffed it. Even after all this time it still
smelt slightly minty. Janet instantly remembered that smell on Daniel's
breath when he leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and smiled. At
least they'd had a few months... Sam and the Colonel still weren't together.
Putting back the toothbrush she looked into the box - a few books, some
aftershave and, in the bottom of the box, a couple of changes of clothes.
She'd never opened the aftershave - that smell would be just too evocative.
Straight after his death, everything she saw seemed to remind her of
Daniel - the gate siren, the other members of SG1, coffee... the list was
endless. After a few weeks, Cassie had suggested she should collect together
all the stuff he'd left at her place and put it in this box, and there it
had stayed in the bottom of her closet, except for a photograph of them
together taken the week before he'd died. Janet had refused to put that
away, and had left it in pride of place on her bedside table.
And now, a year on, she cried less but the yawning ache was still there, a
gaping chasm inside her that wouldn't go away. Cassie had dropped unsubtle
hints that she ought to move on, find someone else - she'd even mentioned
one of her teachers was single and winked at her mom theatrically - but
Janet just wasn't interested. In her mind, no-one could possibly measure up
to Daniel. He'd been witty, intelligent, sensitive... accident prone... She
smiled to herself. Yes, if he hadn't spent so much time in the infirmary
they'd never had got to know each other so well.
The phone rang, disturbing her thoughts. Probably Cassie wanting a ride
home, Janet thought as she walked across the room and picked it up. "Hello."
"Doctor Fraiser?"
The Texan accent was unmistakeable. "General Hammond... sir." But why on
earth
was he calling her at home? There had to have been some kind of disaster on
base for him to call her when she was off duty. "What's wrong?"
"Don't panic, Doctor." Hammond's voice was gentle, almost teasing. "For this
is one of the few times in recent years I bring good news."
"Sir?" Janet was completely baffled now. She couldn't think of anything good
that would warrant an after hours phone call.
"SG1 have found someone..." He hesitated, and Janet thought she heard a
slight
catch in his voice. "Are you sitting down?" he asked quietly.
She sat down obediently on the edge of the bed. "I'm sitting, sir. Who have
they found?" She felt herself becoming impatient, a tiny ray of hope
beginning to take root inside her.
"They've found Doctor Jackson, alive and well."
She gasped. Alive? Daniel was alive? Her heart pounded, her mouth went dry,
then her world began to spin. Grateful that the General had insisted she sit
down, she put her head between her knees. Then she realised that Hammond was
still talking. "Sorry, sir. Could you repeat what you just said... I was
kind
of... overcome for a moment."
"That's perfectly understandable, Doctor. Take all the time you need." She
could tell he was smiling, in fact he sounded positively indulgent. "I was
just saying that though apparently in good health, Doctor Jackson seems to
be suffering from amnesia."
"What does he remember, sir? Does he know who he is?" Janet's stomach
lurched. Would he remember her?
"I only have a preliminary report from Major Carter, and she says, no, he
doesn't know who he is, nor does he recognise any of his team-mates. They
are currently trying to get him to return to the SGC with them."
"Do you need me to come in?"
"Not at this present time, Doctor. It's night where they are so I don't
think Doctor Jackson will be coming back within the next few hours. Try and
get some rest and I'll see you in the morning. I just thought you'd want to
know..."
"Yes, thank you, sir. Good night."
"Good night, Doctor."
Janet replaced the receiver and stared at the box. He was alive. He was
alive. She kept repeating those three words over and over like a mantra. He
was alive. If she said it enough times perhaps it might become a little more
believable. A year ago, she'd watched him die right in front of her eyes and
she'd been powerless to do anything to stop it. She'd known something
strange had happened at the moment of death, but afterwards, she'd been hard
pushed to describe it. There had been a bright light and an overwhelming
feeling of peace... and he'd gone.
But now he was back. Would he remember her?
==========
It had been a long night. Janet hadn't slept a wink, wondering what Daniel
would be like, if he still looked the same, smelt the same, felt the same.
And would he feel the same about her? She still loved him, she loved the man
who'd died. What if he'd changed beyond recognition? What if he never got
his memory back?
Sitting at her desk, Janet fingered the glasses she'd taken from her box in
the closet and placed them carefully in front of her. She'd brought them
just in case. He might have some with him, but somehow she doubted if there
had been many opticians where he'd been. And god only knew where that was. A
noise from the infirmary made her look up. She quickly picked up the glasses
and slipped them into her pocket; it'd be tragic to lose them now.
Janet watched from the privacy of her office as the Colonel and Sam led
Daniel into the infirmary. Sam had a protective hand on his back, gently
pushing him forwards. The concern on their faces was obvious; Sam's glance
darted all over the place nervously, presumably looking for her. Janet's
heart sank as she watched Daniel look round, as if he'd never set foot in
the place before. So he still had amnesia. She took a deep breath and walked
out of her office, trying to project more confidence than she felt.
He turned towards her at the sound of her footsteps and Janet's heart almost
stopped. Those eyes. Those eyes with no glasses covering them and masking
their beauty. Those beautiful blue eyes. She hadn't thought she'd ever see
them again. Suddenly she realised she was shaking like a leaf. She knew
running up to him and throwing her arms around him was totally out of the
question, but boy, did she want to do it. The blue eyes stared at her,
without a hint of recognition.
"This is Doctor Janet Fraiser," Sam said. "She's been your physician for
five years."
"Yeah," said the Colonel, "You and her are..." He paused when Sam dug him in
the ribs with her elbow. "...good friends." The Colonel frowned and shot Sam
a look as if to say that was what he'd planned to say all along. Janet didn'
t believe him and judging by the look on her face, neither did Sam.
Daniel smiled at her. Janet's stomach did a neat little flip-flop. She
managed to compose herself enough to give him what felt like a pretty
half-hearted smile back. "Hello," he said quietly, still looking her in the
eye. She swallowed. That was what she thought of his bedroom voice, all soft
and fluid, ready to caress and tease. It brought back memories...
"Hi," she blurted out. What was it she was supposed to do now? Her brain was
somewhere else, not in the infirmary... and it appeared to have completely
forgotten all of her medical training. She was vaguely aware of Sam and the
Colonel leaving them alone.
"So what happens now?" he asked, smiling again and turning her insides to
mush.
"I check you over and make sure you're as healthy as you appear to be."
Janet looked at him carefully, trying hard to keep her expression neutral.
"Don't you remember anything about your life here?"
He shook his head. "No, I don't even remember Sam and Jim."
Janet frowned. She didn't remember Jim either. "Do you mean Jack? Colonel O'
Neill?"
"Yes. The tall guy with the bad jokes and the sarcasm. He says I owe him
fifty bucks."
She smiled. "I think that's extremely unlikely." He looked her in the eye
and grinned and for a split second there seemed to be a flash of something.
Something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but something that reminded
her forcibly of the old Daniel. The Daniel she loved. For the first time,
she began to hope that the Daniel she remembered was still in there
somewhere.
========
Somehow or other, she got through the examination, checking him over very
carefully. Her hands trembled with barely concealed nervousness every time
she had to touch him. She was scared to death he'd notice, but if he did, he
was polite enough to keep quiet about it.
Janet had just finished when the Colonel walked in. "Well, I'm happy to say,
sir, that he's in perfect health, except for one small exception..." She
fished in her pocket and produced Daniel's glasses, the ones she'd cherished
for the past year. Handing them to him, she watched as he put them on.
He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, that's different."
Janet smiled to herself as the Colonel attracted Daniel's attention and
said, "You recognise me now?"
Daniel peered at the Colonel closely then asked, "Has your hair always been
that way?"
O'Neill looked hurt. "What way?"
Daniel kind of shrugged and said, "Never mind."
Watching their banter, Janet waited and hoped that Daniel would ask why she
had his glasses. That would be an ideal way to broach the subject of their
relationship, but to her dismay he didn't say a word. With a quick 'goodbye'
and 'thank you' he just followed the Colonel out of the room.
======
The next morning Janet was sitting at her desk, staring into space. He'd
shown no sign of recognising her. None at all. She wasn't sure what to do.
She wanted him so badly she could taste it. She wanted to kiss him, feel
him, touch him. make love to him. He was so close but so out of reach. She
slumped forward and rested her head on her hands.
A soft knock on her open door made her shoot back up to a sitting position.
Daniel stood in the doorway, a gentle smile on his face. "Am I interrupting
something?" he asked quietly.
"No," Janet stammered. "Haven't been sleeping well. A bit tired, that's
all." And that's the understatement of the year, she thought. She'd had two
nights of staring at her bedroom ceiling and having erotic fantasies about
the man currently standing in front of her. "Come in," she added.
He stepped into the room and walked over to the desk. "Doctor. Janet." he
hesitated. "Did I call you Janet... before?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"Janet." He smiled, as if savouring the word. Janet felt her stomach flutter
slightly at the look on his face. "Janet, I meditated with Teal'c for a
while last night. I remembered things. But I'm not sure if they're all true.
It's all so confused. Images, sounds, snatches of things. Nothing coherent."
She felt her heart lurch. Had he remembered about them? "Yes?" She tried to
keep her voice neutral.
"I remembered Sha're. I know she's dead." A flash of pain crossed his
features, then he looked her straight in the eyes. "And I remembered you."
"Me?" Janet could hardly get the word out.
"You had my glasses," he said softly. It was a statement, not an accusation.
He licked his lips and leant over the desk. She saw him swallow hard, then
he reached over and brushed his hand against her cheek. "Please tell me if I've got this wrong."
She shook her head slightly and pushed her head into his hand, increasing
the contact. "No, Daniel, you don't have it wrong."
He smiled. That special smile that she liked to think was only for her. "I'm
so glad." He moved towards her and brushed her lips gently with his,
releasing ripples of sensation through Janet's body. When he pulled back,
she let out a sigh at the loss of contact. Janet opened her eyes to find him
perched carefully on the edge of her desk, avoiding the piles of paperwork
that were covering it. "I still don't remember everything, but I remember
loving you, Janet. I'll just need a little time."
Janet suddenly felt giddy, high on life. Wave after wave of relief crashed
over her. She wanted to run out into the corridor and shout that Daniel had
come back and he still loved her! Standing up quickly, she walked round the
desk so she was directly in front of him. "I'll have to try and think of
something to jog your memory, won't I?" She grabbed his shirt front and
pulled him to her for a bruising kiss. When they broke apart, they were both
breathing hard. "Helping any?" she asked playfully.
He grinned. "Kind of... but I think you might need to do it again..."
===============
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