Elusive Messages
by Bryn
EMAIL: bambam126@hotmail.com
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: D/J romance :)
SPOILERS: Forever in a Day
SUMMARY: Daniel is having trouble sleeping and Janet tries to help (and no
it's not like that! Get your minds out of the gutter!!!)
DISCLAIMER: nothing belongs to me! please don't sue me! and if you're
thinking about it... bite me!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Big hugs to Flo for helping me think of an idea and a title,
Becca for beta'ing, making me write and 'cause she's awesome, and Kat for
the kick @$$ ending, all the commas and just being wonderful!
Janet Fraiser looked up from her medical reports to see SG-1 saunter into
the infirmary. They had just returned from another mission and it was time
for her to torture… er, examine them. When she noticed Daniel limping, she
sighed. How could that man be so accident prone? she thought. Not that she
really minded him being around so much, she liked his company and the only
time she seemed to spend with him was when she got to lock him in the
infirmary for some reason.
She assigned the other doctors to check out the rest of the team and turned
her attention to Daniel. He gave her a sheepish grin as she bent to examine
his leg. Janet lifted his foot slightly and he yelped in pain, shooting her
a nasty look as well.
“What happened this time, Daniel?” Janet asked him.
“I kinda tripped over the edge of the artifact,” Daniel replied. He
flinched again as Janet moved his foot again. “Ow! Janet, do you think you
could be careful? That does hurt!”
“Well, Dr. Jackson, I’ll take x-rays just to be sure it’s not broken, but I
think you just have a minor sprain. Looks like you’ll be spending some time
around base for a little while. Maybe you can catch up on some sleep, you
look a bit run down.”
“I’m fine,” Daniel said distractedly.
“Daniel?”
“Huh?”
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Janet frowned at Daniel, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and his
unusual dourness, but decided no to say anything more until later. She
finished up the post-mission exams and Daniel x-rays and released her
patients to their showers and briefing.
Several hours of work later, Janet ended her shift. She was tired and
wanted to go home, but there was something she had to do first.
She knocked lightly on the lab door, hoping that the person inside was fast
asleep like he should be. No such luck.
“Come in.”
Janet pushed the door open and peered in to see Daniel bent over his work
table deeply engrossed in the pictures and samples from their latest
mission. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge her presence. Instead he
consulted on of the dozen or so books open on his desk and took another sip
of coffee.
“Didn’t I tell you to rest?” Janet asked, mildly annoyed.
“Oh… hi Janet,” Daniel said looking up briefly.
“Dr. Jackson, do I have to make that an order?” Janet frowned as she walked
further into Daniel’s lab.
“I’m not military Janet, you can’t order me.” Daniel mumbled. “I’ll rest,
I just want to finish up these analyses. Besides it’s not that late.”
“Daniel, it’s after 11.”
“Oh? Really?” Daniel didn’t look up at her. “I’ll go to bed after I
finish this report. I’m behind on paperwork.”
“Daniel, you’re never behind on paperwork. Are you sure you’re ok?” Janet
asked as she moved closer to him. She was beginning to get the distinct
impression he was trying to avoid going to sleep.
“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Daniel asked, fiddling with another
artifact.
“Because you look like you haven’t slept in a week and you won’t look me in
the eye.” Janet scowled at him. “Daniel, please tell me what’s going on.
If you are having trouble sleeping I can give you something to help.”
Daniel grimaced. “No thanks, had a very bad reaction to sleeping pills
once.”
“Then do you want to talk about it?”
Daniel looked away from her again but sighed as he realized there was no
getting out of this now. He knew Janet well enough to know that she
wouldn’t give up, especially when it came to the health of one of her
patients… and her friend. Without looking at her he said, “I’ve been having
dreams. Every night. They are so vivid I have trouble sleeping after I
wake up from one of them and I fear going to bed because I don’t want to
have another one.”
“Are they nightmares?” Janet asked as she sat down beside him.
“I don’t know… I mean I don’t think so. They’re just disturbing.”
“What are they about?”
Daniel hesitated. How do I talk to her about this? he asked himself.
Janet noticed his reaction and couldn’t help but be hurt by it. “Daniel, as
your doctor I am trained to be objective and confidential… and as your
friend I care about you and want to help,” she reassured him, laying a hand
on his arm.
Daniel reflexively tensed at the touch and Janet quickly retracted her hand.
“But if you want to be alone, I understand,” Janet said, trying to hide
how his reaction had hurt her. She stood and made to way for the door,
hoping to leave before she made a fool of herself.
“Janet, wait!” Daniel cried out as he realized she had gotten the wrong
impression. “That’s not what I meant! … I’ve been dreaming about Sha’re.”
Janet stopped by the door and looked at him, not knowing what to say.
“They aren’t ordinary dreams though and I –“ Daniel stopped, confused.
“You what?”
“I get the feeling they are trying to tell me something…”
“Like the dream you had after Sha’re died? When she was trying to tell you
about the Harsesis child?” Janet asked, moving back into the room and
sitting down next to Daniel.
Daniel nodded, his face twisted in grief.
“Do you know what she is trying to tell you?” Janet asked. Part of her
didn’t want to be here discussing Daniel’s late wife with him. The other
part of her, however, wanted to be there for him no matter how much it hurt
her to hear about his love for someone else.
“No, I have no idea. I’ve tried to listen to her, to ask her what she was
trying to tell me, but still I can’t make sense of it.” Daniel shook his
head, trying to clear it.
“Maybe if you tell me about it, I can help you figure it out,” Janet urged.
“Um, thanks Janet, but you know, I should probably go home and get some rest
like you suggested,” Daniel said abruptly, packing his stuff up and
practically running for the door.
Janet stared after Daniel, very perplexed. Every time she thought she was
getting closer to him, he seemed to pull back and run away. Maybe I’m
fooling myself thinking he could ever love me the way I love him, she
thought sadly.
As Daniel entered his apartment later that night, he sighed deeply, shaking
his head in disgust at himself. I could have handled that a lot better, he
thought. He didn’t want to turn Janet away, but telling her his dreams did
not sound like a good idea. So he had run away from her. Just like he was
running away from his dreams by trying to stay awake. A voice inside of him
was saying that was the best thing to do: run away from the things that
would hurt you and you’ll never get hurt. Then there was another voice
though, the one that didn’t seem to come from within him, but instead from
somewhere else, that reminded him that those things that could hurt him were
also the only things that could ever make him happy again.
That night Daniel was plagued by dreams again. Just like every other night
for the last few weeks, he tossed and turned, trying to fight the painful
memories that the images of Sha’re brought. And just like every other
night, he woke up in a cold sweat, feeling sad, alone and confused. What
confused him though, were not the images of Sha’re and the life they had
briefly had together, dreams like that had been with him since she had been
taken by Apophis years before, and they were how he remembered her. Even
the images of her death were understandable; they still haunted him even
now. What did confuse him was the last image he saw before he woke up every
night. It was Janet.
Every instinct in his body told him to wake up, forget the dream, and leave
the pain and confusion behind. He moved to get up and go read or work on
reports until morning, just like the other nights. This night something
stopped him though, and with a sudden bout of courage, determination, or
perhaps just exhaustion, he laid back down, closed his eyes and went back to
sleep where his dream could haunt him again.
Janet was finishing her rounds at the Air Force Hospital the next morning
when someone roughly yanked her by the arm into her office. She had been
looking down at some charts instead of noticing what was happening around
her, so she instinctually shoved the intruder off of her before noticing
that it was poor Daniel that was now laying on the ground looking quite
pathetic.
“Daniel! I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you!” Janet said as she leaned
down to help him up.
“So you decided to shove me across the room?” Daniel asked, brushing
himself off.
“Well you surprised me. Most people open the door for a lady rather than
shove her through it.”
“Sorry about that I- well I guess I wanted to see you before I lost my
nerve.” Daniel said, suddenly a little nervous.
“Lost your nerve for what?” Janet asked, intrigued. She set the charts on
her desk and turned to face Daniel, standing only a few feet in front of
him.
“I ran away from you last night, Janet, because I was scared,” Daniel
began. He stared at his hands as he let his confession pour out in a jumble
of words. “Not just scared of the dreams I’ve been having, although they
were disturbing me, but scared of how you would react if I told you about
them.”
“Daniel, I’d like to think of myself as your friend. I’ll always be here
for you to talk to about anything. You don’t ever have to be scared to tell
me anything.”
“Is that it though, Janet?”
“What do you mean?” Janet looked up at him, suddenly feeling like her heart
was in her throat.
“Are we just friends? Is that all we are?” Daniel asked. He stared at her
for a minute, trying to gauge her reaction. Slowly he stepped forward and
placed his hands on her shoulders, whether bracing her for what he was about
to say, or himself, he wasn’t sure. “Last night I made a decision to stop
fighting my dreams and, no matter how much they grieved me, to find out what
they meant. Do you have any idea what they were trying to tell me?”
“You dreamt of Sha’re,” Janet managed to choke out.
“No. Well I mean, yes, she was there but only to help me see what the dream
was really about. I dreamt of you, Janet.”
“Well… um… uh… huh?” Janet managed to mumble. For some reason, there wasn’t
a coherent thought in her mind.
Daniel just smiled and decided he’d had enough talking. So he kissed her.
It was soft and slow and sweet and by the time it ended nothing else seemed
to matter anymore.
When Janet’s mind started functioning again, which took a few minutes after
that kiss, she smiled so hard she thought her face would crack. “Well, um,
I should probably get back to work now,” she managed to say rather
breathlessly.
“Yeah, I’ve go to get to the base. Do you want to have dinner tonight?”
“Oh very definitely.”
The End...
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