Intergraft Our Hands
by Isabelle


E-MAIL: thaliamuse2000@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Daniel/Janet, post-ep (Lifeboat)
SPOILERS/SEASON: Season 7, major Lifeboat spoilers, previous seasons
also fair game
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this
story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I re-watched Lifeboat for Dan/Jan Day, and it re-ignited an idea I've had about doing a post-ep. Nothing terribly original here, though I went poking around for Lifeboat fics, and there aren't nearly as many as I thought there would be. What's going on, people?! Writers, join me in taking advantage of all the great DanandJan-ness of that episode! Also, when I answered Little Red's poetry challenge with "Trepidation of the Spheres," I was really struck by how relevant Donne is to Daniel/Janet (love poetry for really smart people?). Anyway, if one wants to imagine that our favorite couple gets together after Lifeboat (obviously the point of this story, but I'm not necessarily trying to make a canonical statement here), I think Donne's "The Ecstasy" is the perfect Lifeboat love poem. Unfortunately, it's really long, and I can't find it online to copy/paste and don't feel like typing the whole thing myself, so y'all will have to look it up yourselves.


***
"But as all several souls contain
Mixture of things, they know not what,
Love, these mixed souls, doth mix again,
And makes both one, each this and that."
--John Donne, "The Ecstasy"
***

Daniel's headache was almost gone, and aside from his general confusion, he felt fine. He sat out of the way on the Stromos, which was slowly coming back to life. Jack, Sam, and Teal'c kept checking in on him with annoying regularity, but despite Jack's attempts to foist the reviving and relocation of the people onto SG-4, the three healthy members of SG-1 were wrapped up in the process.

Daniel replayed his memories of the past day in his head. Something happened while investigating the crashed ship; he remembered calling out to Jack. Then nothing, and fear, and helplessness, and trying to escape from somewhere. Suddenly, Janet. For a brief moment in the inarticulate chaos, her face, bright and real. She looked and sounded frightened as she called his name, and he tried to hang on, tried to hear her, but he was falling, drowning, and she slipped from his grasp as he reached out to her. Then more helplessness and flailing in the blackness. He was next aware of her voice breaking through into his consciousness. He feared it was a dream, but he fought to speak. He tried to find her, but Jack was there first. He tried not to resent Jack—he was thrilled to see anyone—but he needed Janet, needed to see her, to hear her.

Finally, for a few precious minutes, he had her to himself as she examined him. Her face and voice were guarded as she explained briefly what had happened, but her hands lingered on him longer than was strictly necessary. 'I'm sorry I frightened you,' he had said, and from the way her hands clenched and her lip trembled almost imperceptibly, he knew she had been worried. How worried? he wondered, as she was called away to examine the newly awakened sleepers. From what little he understood of his latest brush with death-by-alien-possession, any doctor should have been worried, but he was beginning to believe that Janet really did have feelings for him, and that it wasn't just wishful thinking and hopeful projection on his part.

"Hey, Danny, how's the headache?" asked Jack as he approached.

"Better. I feel fine." Jack looked as though he didn't quite believe him, but didn't argue.

"Carter's gone to find the Doc. SG-4's got things under control, so as long as Fraiser says it's okay, we can get the hell out of Dodge." From the way Jack's eyes narrowed suspiciously, Daniel was pretty sure that the excited flip that his stomach did at the mention of Janet's name showed on his face. Just then, Sam and Teal'c returned, but without Janet.

"Janet is still kind of tied up. She's talking to a couple of the re-animated doctors from the ship here. And she says Daniel can't leave until she clears him. So go let her tell you you're fine, and let's get out of here." His teammates chuckled knowingly as Daniel leaped up and raced toward Janet.

He found her leaning over the shoulder of a woman he didn't recognize who was conducting a medical exam on a young man.

"Janet, can you clear me to go home?" he asked, trying to manage "healthy and fit" without sounding overeager.

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" She frowned at him suspiciously as she led him to a corner and shone her penlight in his eyes.

"Yes," he insisted. "My headache is completely gone."

"And, uh, everything else feels normal?"

"Yup, no more alternative personalities, strange voices, anything of that sort. I feel great. Can I please get out of here?" Daniel wished he had quelled the eagerness in his voice as a brief look of pain crossed her face.

"Daniel, please don't joke about it. It wasn't very funny," she said softly, closing her eyes and bowing her head for a moment.

"Oh god, Janet, I didn't mean—" He reached for her hand but was stopped by Jack's voice.

"So, Doc, you gonna let him come with us? I promise I won't let anything happen to him."

Janet's head snapped up, promptly fixing the intimidating look blazing in her eyes on the Colonel. "All of SG-1 is cleared to return home, but Daniel is confined to base for 24 hours." She turned the warning stare on Daniel, who could merely nod meekly. Jack grabbed Daniel's arm and started to pull him away, and Janet moved to return to the other doctor.

"Wait, Janet," called Daniel with distress, "you're not coming with us?"

"No, they seem to want me to stay for a while. I'll come back with SG-4."

Daniel's face fell at her words, but he tried to talk himself out of the resignation he felt. After all, he should be happy to go home. Oddly, it was Jack who articulated the injustice of the situation.

"Why do they need her to stay? That woman has worked her ass off for the past two days; she deserves to go home more than the rest of us—well, except for you, Daniel. Maybe I should order her to return home."

"She wouldn't do it," replied Daniel.

"I know. My god is she stubborn. I think she's the only one who really could have stood up to you like she did. I mean, not you, but that guy who, um, anyway, it's not important." Jack trailed off. All of Daniel's friends had been reticent to give him details about what had really happened to him.

"Jack, it is important. I need to know what happened, even if it's painful." There was a pause when the older man did not respond. "Jack? Teal'c said you watched the whole thing. And that there is a tape. Please, Jack."

"Okay," Jack said at last. "You do need to know, mostly for yourself, but also because you need to see what she went through for you."

***

Jack, Sam, and Teal'c sat with Daniel as he watched several hours of the tape. At first he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that it was his body but not himself. Just as Tryon and Martise had stared into the mirror, Daniel stared into the screen, trying to understand. He cringed aghast at Martise's arrogance, appreciated Tryon's rational stoicism, and cried freely for terrified young Keenan.

Once he managed to accustom himself to his body acting strangely, he was drawn, as always, to Janet. Simply put, she astonished him. Her resolve, punctuated by hurt and desperation that she kept mostly well-masked, dominated the tape. Every time Martise emerged, Daniel felt waves of guilt washing over him as he watched himself saying such terrible things to Janet. When she comforted Keenan, Daniel envied the boy, wishing Janet would hold him like that sometimes.

When the tape finished, Daniel remained staring at the screen as Sam reached up to turn off the monitor. "Wow," he finally said, exhaling a big breath. "I'm glad to be back to normal, but the sacrifice they made—Tryon and Pharan and Keenan." He paused and turned to face his friends. "I should thank you guys, though. Especially Sam and Teal'c. I wouldn't be here—or at least I wouldn't be myself—without you."

Sam reached out to squeeze his hand. "You're welcome, Daniel. But we're not the one you need to be thanking most, you know."

"I know," he agreed quickly. "I wish Janet hadn't stayed on the planet. I want to see her." He finished with some frustration, which Jack met with a quizzical expression.

"Uh, Daniel, didn't you hear the klaxons about half an hour ago? That would have been SG-4 with the Doc. She's probably back."

Daniel leaped up, suddenly animated. "Half an hour? She's been back for half an hour and I didn't— I didn't hear anything. I'll see you guys later," he called as he dashed out the door, leaving two surprised laughs and one raised eyebrow.

***

After a quick inquiry to a nurse, Daniel found Janet in her office. He tapped lightly, and when she didn't respond, he opened the door quietly. She sat at her desk, her face buried in her hands, crying softly. She hadn't heard him enter. He was across the room in two strides, kneeling at her side.

"Dear Janet, don't cry," he said softly as he reached for one of her tear-moist hands. Her head jerked up, and she looked at him somewhat wildly.

"Daniel! You startled me; I didn't hear you come in." She groped for a Kleenex as she tried to compose herself.

"Janet."

"I'm fine," she insisted with a shaking voice. "How are you feeling? Do you need another painkiller?"

"I'm still feeling okay. But I came to see how you are. And to thank you. I watched the tape. I wanted to thank you for saving my life, um, again." He didn't realize he had said something wrong, but immediately, her eyes flashed with a blind rage.

"Again!" she cried, yanking her hand free from his and standing up with such force that her chair rolled backwards and slammed into a filing cabinet. "Do you think you can manage not to get yourself into trouble for a while? Do you have any idea what it is like to watch your friends go marching off into danger while you sit at home, waiting for them to come back with their brains scrambled by ribbon devices, or dying of radiation exposure, or with twelve different people taking over their body!" Daniel watched helplessly as she paced around the room tossing stacks of papers to the floor in frustration. "Goddamnit, Daniel, I don't know if I can do this anymore. I didn't know what to do. I almost lost it with that Martise bastard. What happens when I can't hold on until the crisis is over? What happens when I can't save you? I did that once, and I cannot do it again."

By the end of her tirade, tears were streaming down her face again, and her whole body was shaking. She tried for a moment to resist Daniel as he drew her into his arms, but she quickly gave up and collapsed against his body with a great choking sob. Her arms locked around his waist, and he pulled her to him as tightly as he could, letting his own tears fall into her hair as hers soaked the front of his shirt.

Between sobs, she repeated his name, as if she wanted to tell him something but couldn't manage more than "Daniel!" Finally, "Daniel, I just got you back, and I thought I'd lost you again."

"No, no, I'm here, sweetheart. It's okay, I'm here, and it's all okay, my dear, dear Janet." He murmured nonsense and endearments as he rocked her back and forth. He wanted nothing more than to keep her in his arms forever and to make all her pain go away. He realized as she clung to him that she seemed disinclined to leave him either.

After she had cried her tears out, she lifted her head hesitantly to look up at him. Daniel smiled at her as he reached up and gently brushed his thumb over her cheeks, wiping away the remaining tears. "Feeling better?" he asked softly.

"Yes," Janet answered, giving him an embarrassed half smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry for the outburst. And for soaking your shirt." A chill of desire coursed down Daniel's spine as she ran her fingertips lightly across his chest.

"Well, I think you are more than entitled to an outburst, and as for the shirt, I am more than happy to hold you while you cry any time you need me to." Janet ducked her head as she blushed, and Daniel tightened his hold on her. "And Janet, I am so very sorry for causing you pain—again. I'm sorry I ever had to leave you in the first place, and I'm sorry I didn't remember you right away when I descended, and mostly I'm sorry I've been such a coward when it comes to sharing my feelings. You said you didn't want to lose me; I don't want that, either."

Janet was now looking into his eyes, no longer embarrassed. She was smiling, and love shone unmistakably in her face. "The question is," she responded slowly, "do I have you? We seem to have skipped that part."

"Darling, if you will have me, I am yours absolutely."

"I accept," she murmured as she pulled his head down and captured his lips with hers.

Daniel's entire body flooded with sensation the moment their lips met. He immediately deepened the kiss, probing her mouth with his tongue and letting her tongue probe his. He threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling her as close to him as he could. Time stopped, and only Janet existed, beautiful, amazing, brilliant, saving Janet, object of his fantasies, kissing him, wanting him. His mind reeled.

They broke the kiss only when they were both gasping for air. "Wow!" breathed Janet, "please tell me I'm not dreaming."

"I sincerely hope not," Daniel answered, planting another kiss firmly on her lips. "What do you say we get out of here?" he suggested, beginning a trail of kisses down her neck.

"Mmm, that would—oh—be great except that you—ah—are confined to base for—Daniel!—the next 24 hours." The last words were little more than a gasp.

"Well," Daniel began before pausing to slide his tongue along Janet's collarbone, eliciting a full-fledged moan. "You could always confine yourself with me." He looked at her and waggled his eyebrows, feeling suddenly bold.

"Are you sure that's really my shy Daniel talking?" Janet asked with mock surprise. Daniel answered her with a kiss, lifting her up off the ground. In response, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Encouraged, Daniel walked toward the door carrying her and kissing her at the same time.

"Mm, Daniel, not in the infirmary," she said as she heard him fumbling for the doorknob. She willed her legs to let go, and though he seemed to be about to let her go, it was too late. The door had opened, and Daniel and Janet stood in full view of two nurses, Sam Carter, and Jack O'Neill.

"Woo-hoo, Doc and Danny!" called Jack as his two friends abruptly separated and turned shades of fuchsia and magenta, respectively. "It's about damn time!"

Daniel tried to respond in an appropriately witty fashion, but his brain could think of nothing but escape. Glancing at Janet, who looked rather like a deer caught in the headlights, he grabbed her hand and raced toward the elevator, Janet calling "goodnight" over her shoulder as she evidently agreed with his plan. They would never hear the end of it tomorrow, but Daniel was not going to worry about that tonight.

***
The End

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