The First Age of Womankind
by Suz Voy
E-MAIL: suzvoy@tesco.net
STATUS: Complete
RATING: G
SEASON: any
SPOILERS: none
CATEGORY: Daniel/Janet, humour
SUMMARY: "Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him
as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin."
DISCLAIMER: "All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This
piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously
unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted
to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is
coincidental and not intended by the author."
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Feedback would be lovely.
It was stupid. She was stupid. She *knew* she was being stupid.
That knowledge however did not stop her from barging into the house, heading straight for the
kitchen and opening up the freezer.
"Hey!" Daniel's voice said as he appeared from elsewhere in the house. "How was din-"
Janet pulled out the tub of ice cream that was almost bigger than she was, and let the freezer
door close with a slam.
"-ner, and if ice cream needs to be involved I'm thinking something happened." He stopped talking
and observed silently - good, his voice was frequently too distracting - as she thudded the tub on
the counter, ripped off the lid, grabbed a spoon out of the cutlery drawer and sank it into the
chocolatey goodness. His hands gently touched her sides, his head brushing against hers. "What's
wrong?"
Having already shovelled several spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth, Janet tipped back her head
and wailed. "I'm ooollllddd!"
It was possible, just *slightly* possible, that she'd had a little too much to drink.
Mmm, ice cream.
The hands on her sides took a firmer hold as Daniel turned her around. She grumped as the ice
cream moved out of her line of sight, then tried devouring the spoon in case there were any traces of
chocolate left.
Daniel frowned down at her. His forehead went all wibbly whenever he did that. "What are you
talking about, Janet?"
Pulling the spoon free from her mouth, she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his
chest. "I'm older than you, Daniel."
His hands moved, arms wrapping around her. "Uh...that isn't exactly news, and it's only a few
years. Why the sudden panic attack?"
"I was not having a panic attack," she told his chest, feeling slighted. "I'm a doctor. I can tell
you precisely what a panic attack consists of, and this isn't one."
"Right."
"I'm very well educated," she sniffed.
"Of course."
"And stop patronising me."
"If you stop worrying over nothing I'll do just that."
Janet considered whacking his ass with the spoon. She couldn't be a happy drunk, could she? Noooo,
not like Daniel who got all peppy and excited. Bastard. "Sam told me I was old," she whined. God,
she hated herself.
"Hmm." Daniel mused. "I'm thinking...not."
"Look!" She argued, digging around in her jacket pocket and pulling out the crumpled up birthday
card. Dimly wondering where she'd left her other cards and her presents, she pushed him away and
held out the card. "Look."
Letting go of her he took the proferred card and straightened it out. She could see his lips move
as he whispered the words on the front to himself. "'Every woman should marry an archaeologist
because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.'"
Shaking his head, he stopped reading and smiled at her. "Janet, you know Sam didn't mean anything. She
probably just thought it was appropriate. I mean," he moved closer again, pressing her back
against the counter, "I *am* an archaeologist and we *are* getting married." He bent to press a kiss to
her throat.
Her breath hitched. Damn him for making sense. And for being so pretty...the spoon clanged noisily
on the floor as she forced his head up and captured it in a chocolate kiss.
Daniel kissed back enthusiastically, mumbling occasionally. "You're...not old. Just Janet.
Though...would..n't...care...mmmm..."
It was official. Daniel was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Apart from the talking too much.
But she knew how to take care of that.
***********
Janet had been aware the entire time as he'd got out of bed, used the toilet, washed his hands and
stumbled back into the bedroom. She felt the edge of the bed dip as he sat, but then *didn't* feel
the familiar sensation of him lying in the space next to her.
Opening her eyes she blinked in the darkness, studying the outline of his body. He was still
sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.
Concerned, she pushed the covers down and moved over to sit beside him. She couldn't imagine
what'd happened that she didn't know about. "Hey. What's wrong?"
Lowering his hands he turned his head towards her, his expression horrified. "It's just...God,
Janet..." The smallest flicker of amusement passed across his face. "...I'm nearly *forty*."
Janet wished she still had the spoon.
Instead she whacked him with a pillow.
~FINIS
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