Everyday
by Aislynn
E-MAIL: celticcowgrl@earthlink.net
STATUS: Complete
RATING: G
CATEGORY: Daniel/Janet Romance, Song Fic
SEASON: Post season 5
SPOILERS: "Meridian"
SUMMARY: Janet's true reaction to the events in "Meridian"
DISCLAIMERS: All publicly recognisable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and
Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment not monetary purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended. The song "Everyday" belongs to the magnificent Stevie Nicks.
Don't keep me hangin' on a string
Tell me what I feel is no big thing
Don't turn away I'm listening
Over and over again
He was gone. Janet drove home in a stunned haze. She'd pulled the sheet up over his head and marked the time of death herself even though her hands had shook so badly the time was practically illegible. Exchanging hugs with his closest friends was the last thing Janet remembered. As she pulled up in front of her house she rested her forehead against the steering wheel and tried to convince herself that she really hadn't seen the white light that rose from his body. Colonel O'Neill - Jack - said Daniel had ascended. Did that mean he'd gone to heaven? She sighed and got out of the car knowing that was one of the silliest questions she'd ever asked herself. She'd heard about Orlin from Sam so she knew what it meant to ascend - sort of. She didn't understand how Daniel had become a different type of lifeform, but she accepted it. It was the only way to handle his body's death. At least this way his soul was still alive.
Don't give me visions to explain
There are no doubts I feel the strain
Of all my senses yearning
Over and over again
As she opened the door to the house she paused and listened carefully. "Cassie?" Her voice sounded shaky even to her own ears. There was no answering shout so Janet dropped her bag in the hallway and stepped into the kitchen.
A note was taped to the refrigerator "Gone to Susan's, be back by 11. Daniel called, said to tell you Thank You and See You Soon."
It wasn't possible! She'd been with Daniel ever since he'd come back from the planet - the designation escaped her at the moment - but he'd never been near a phone and he could have talked to her in the infirmary. All he'd said to her then was "I'm sorry."
Janet put the back of her hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob that was rising in her throat. "I'm Sorry"! How could that be all he had to say to her? Their time as a couple had been so very brief, only a couple of months but she'd loved him for so long! Before he'd left with the rest of SG-1 he'd pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered the words "I love you."
Once. Only once had he told her that, yet the words echoed through her mind. Yet nothing changed the dispair and confusion she felt. Had he apologized for sacrificing himself or for telling her he loved her? She sighed and wiped away the tears that she hadn't even been aware of. She had to call Cassie, her daughter would want to know and Janet needed her. She needed to see that her daughter was alive and well even if her lover wasn't.
Every day I see you
Every day I need you
Every way I breathe you
On and on and on and on again
The memorial service was even more moving than the first one Janet had attended for Daniel five years ago. Five years ago Janet hadn't known Daniel nearly as well. They'd been friends, but it was such a recent friendship. The pain just wasn't as great.
This time Janet hadn't been able to keep her emotions under control. She'd openly wept as she accepted the flag from Jack. That folded flag to commemorate the sacrifice of one of the best men anyone in the SGC had ever known. Janet reverently laid the flag on the coffee table and straightened up suddenly feeling like someone was in the room with her. She looked over her shoulder expecting to see Cassie but no one was there. A light sound the reminded her of Daniel's laugh surrounded her and she could smell the fresh earthy scent that sometimes lingered on the pillows after Daniel got up.
Janet looked around the room wildly. Out of the corner of her eye she was sure she saw Daniel wander past the doorway. Everywhere, her memories made her see him everywhere. Sniffling against the tears Janet sat on the couch and stared at the one lone picture frame on the table. Just two weeks ago Sam had taken that picture of Daniel, Janet and Cassie. "Our first family photo," Daniel had said as he placed the frame on the table proudly. Absently she reached for one of the pillows to hug for comfort. When her hands came to rest on a soft sweatshirt she looked down curiously.
Daniel's sweatshirt. His favorite sweatshirt actually, but Janet was sure she'd left it upstairs. Cassie had given it to him for his birthday the year before. At first he'd been embarassed to wear it since the words, "Archeologists do it in the dirt" were emblazoned across the chest. He'd started wearing it to please Cassie, but found he actually liked it after a while. Janet rested her cheek against the soft cotton and said softly, "You'll never truly leave us will you?"
She only imagined the soft touch on her cheek right?
It's not important to wonder why
What is just is no more to imply
This simple thought repeating
Over and over again
Every day I see you
Every day I need you
Every way I breathe you
On and on and on and on again
She'd made it through the wake without breaking down. She hadn't wanted to but she found herself telling Jonas all about Daniel. The man was fascinated by Daniel's life, all his experiences that should have turned him into a hard man but never broke him. Jonas wanted to understand what had made Daniel sacrifice himself for a world he'd never even heard of before. In reliving the adventures Janet had shared with SG-1 she felt a sense of peace settle over her. Daniel would always be with them. The SGC was enfused with his spirit, and someday, maybe someday they would see him again.
Imagine all the ways to cope
I close my eyes, that gives me hope
It cures the silence
Every day I see you
Every day I need you
Every way I breathe you
On and on and on and on again
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