The Briefing from Hell
by Bryn
EMAIL: buddygirl19@yahoo.com
STATUS: complete
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: D/J UST, humor
SPOILERS: Rite of Passage
SEASON/SEQUEL: season 5
SUMMARY: It’s an exceptionally boring briefing but
Janet’s found something to amuse her.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and
places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and
Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment not monetary purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended. Previously unrecognized characters and
places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author.
Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is
coincidental and not intended by the author.
Excerpts from "Complicated" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson
used without permission, yadda yadda yadda. Don't sue
me I'm a poor starving college student!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I seriously have no idea what I was
on when I wrote this, but to me it seemed amusing.
And if you feel like killing me when you get to the
end of this, all the blame can be placed on Kat, my
wonderful Beta, who has promised, and already started
on, a sequel from Daniel’s POV.
FEEDBACK: Ooh, I’ll be your best friend!
It’s official, this is the briefing from hell. Now,
don’t get me wrong, I love Sam to death, but the girl
just doesn’t know when to shut up! She’s been talking
for the last 45 minutes about solar… um, well ‘solar’
was as far as she got before I tuned out, so I’m not
completely clear *what* she’s talking about, but it’s
definitely boring. I’ve nearly fallen asleep three
times, mentally re-organized my kitchen, decided what
I’m going to make for dinner, and completely covered
the paper in front of me with doodles.
Now I just realized I’m humming. It takes me a second
to place the song, but then I remember it’s one I
heard on the radio this morning on the way to work. I
can’t remember the words exactly, but the tune was
simple and sweet, and heck, it’s better than listening
to Sam.
I glance around the room to see if everyone else is as
bored as I am. General Hammond is looking as stoic
and engrossed as ever. How does he always do that? He
can’t have the faintest idea what she’s going on
about, yet he’s the picture of attentiveness. It’s
really quite annoying. Teal’c, likewise, seems all
ears, but if you ask me I think he’s just learned the
art of reaching Kelnoreem with his eyes open. Then
there’s Jack. His utter boredom was subtle at first,
and I think his infatuation with Sam did keep him
attentive a fair deal longer than me, but now he’s
resorted to trying to spin pens on his finger. By the
end of this briefing he just may have it.
I peek at Daniel, who’s sitting to my left, and nearly
do a double take, but luckily it dawned on me in time
that that might be a *little* too obvious. As
cunningly as I can, trying not to move my head, I
sneak another look at Daniel out of the corner of my
eye. I blink and look again, just to make sure I’m
not becoming delusional in my advanced state of
boredom. By this time, despite my questioning sanity,
I’m almost convinced he’s watching me…
“…I've seen you watch me from the corner of your eye…”
Oh sure, *now* the lyrics start popping into my head.
Resisting the urge to close my eyes and shake my head
free of unnerving and unruly thoughts that have
spontaneously decided to take on a life of their own
in my mind, I try to divert my attention. Maybe I’ll
doodle some more… Now how did that get there? Right
smack in the middle of the over-sized, yellow legal
pad in front me, written in my own handwriting, is
Daniel’s name. I *swear* I didn’t do that.
Right, time to focus on Sam’s lecture. Fixing my gaze
steadily on her, I use all of my mental discipline in
an attempt to listen to whatever she’s saying. “The
gravitational force of this phenomenon should
theoretically have the effects as the Smurf
Conundrum…” Did she just say Smurf? And since when
did the Smurfs have a conundrum, or was she taking
about that age old question of just exactly who the
parents of the Smurfs were, since Smurfette was the
only female? And then who were the Smurf kids’
parents, since they *all* called Papa Smurf, ‘Papa
Smurf’? What exactly was that show trying to teach
young children anyway?
I’m back to doodling, since obviously Sam’s babbling
had a very bad effect on my brain. Oh wonderful, now
my piece of paper is completely covered in the word
Daniel. When’s the last time I checked myself for a
Goa’uld infection?
“…Is it fact or fiction the way I feel for you?”
That’s it, hands are now placed firmly on the armrest
and are to remain there until they learn to behave.
And my mind *will* stop replaying that meaningless
song. Ok, I need something innocent to do… um, time
to review everything I know about internal medicine,
that should keep me busy for a while.
I barely got to organ functions before I feel it.
It’s so slight at first I think I imagined it. It’s a
feather-light touch, as if on accident, until I feel
it again. His finger barely moves over my hand,
perhaps just a centimeter at a time, and so slowly and
gently that I catch myself holding my breath in
between each movement, hoping it wouldn’t be the last.
After a few minutes, his fingers are tracing light
circles over my hand and I am forcing air in and out
of my lungs. I never knew such a mundane action could
be so… sensual.
“…a touch of your hand just makes me come unglued…”
There are shivers running up and down my arm and
they’re quickly spreading to the rest of my body as
well. I’m still staring straight ahead, pretending to
listen intently to Sam, but I’m completely focused on
that hand which has seemed to permeate all my senses.
If he doesn’t stop this soon I’m never going to be
able to form another coherent thought in my life. Oh,
but I don’t want him to stop.
I never really thought of Daniel as a real ‘touchy’
guy. I mean I know he was with his wife and I’ve been
told about… uh, other women, but somehow that was
different. He and Sam are practically best friends
and I’ve never seen him hold her hand or give her a
hug other than near-death incidences. Yet, the other
day when Cassie was sick, he took my hand the hallway,
and now this… Does this mean something or am I making
too much of it? Do I want to make too much of it? Do
*I* feel something for Daniel? Wonderful, now I’m
confusing myself.
“…It’s so confusing, I wish you’d just confess…”
He’s stopped. I can’t feel his hand anymore, and
suddenly I feel so empty and cold. Why did he stop?
Didn’t he know how wonderful that felt? Well no, of
course he didn’t know, I made absolutely no indication
that I even felt it, let alone that I’d become
instantly addicted to it. His hand is nearby I can
sense it, and with my peripheral vision I can see that
his elbow’s resting on his armrest and his hand is
still extended out, just inches away from mine.
Risking a glance, I’m almost disappointed that his
gaze is fixed on Sam instead of me, but I take the
opportunity to watch him for a minute. He really is
one hell of an attractive man. I’m not saying I
didn’t realize that before, I’m not blind after all,
but I guess I just didn’t think I had any right to
notice before. It’s so easy to fall for a
good-looking, kind-hearted, intelligent man and just
as easy to be not noticed by him and end up alone and
pathetically pining. I’ve been there far too often,
so this time I just kept my distance… or so I thought.
This is agony: his hand, so close yet not touching me.
Should I make a movement? Should I play it cool and
see what he does? Then again he’s already made the
first move and might be waiting for my response.
“…It’s so complicated, I’m so frustrated…”
Slowly, carefully, hesitantly, I extend my fingers.
His hand isn’t far, I barely have to move mine, and I
don’t even have to look; instinctively I can feel
where he is. Gently I run the very tip of one finger
over the back of his hand, then flip over my hand and
duck it under his. Now I run my fingertips across his
palm, feeling his fingers twitch ever so slightly, and
tenderly work my fingers in between his, intertwining
our hands.
Now I wait. Have I made a complete fool of myself?
I’m an idiot; I shouldn’t have done anything…
Oh my, he’s started again. He’s drawing little
circles on my hand with his thumb, like a miniature
massage. I think I’m in heaven. Thank goodness I
already made my presentation on the safety issues for
this mission because I don’t think there’s a rational
thought left in my brain.
“… Is everyone clear? Good, SG-1 you ship out in two
hours. Dismissed.” General Hammonds voice suddenly
permeates my wandering thoughts and I look up with a
start to notice Sam’s stopped talking and everyone’s
preparing to leave.
What? Wait, the briefing can’t be over yet, I was just
beginning to enjoy it!
the end.
Copyright (c) Bryn 2001
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