Behind the Mask
by SaraC
E-MAIL: silk1023@aol.com
STATUS: Complete
CATEGORY: Episode Addition
RATING: PG
SEASON: 5
SPOILERS: Missing Scene (or Ep Tag) for "Rite of Passage"
SUMMARY: Missing Scene (or Ep Tag) for "Rite of Passage"
DISCLAIMERS: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. I made no money off the production of this fan fiction and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The muse is prolific lately. This is just a drabble, something I had
to write after seeing "RoP". It's just a little something I would have liked to
have seen in "RoP."
~*~*~*~*~*~
She didn't allow herself to break down until Cassie was resting comfortably
in the infirmary- whatever Nerti had done curing her of whatever 'process' her
daughter had been going through.
Through it all, she'd remained the strong, professional doctor who headed the
SGC- even when facing the loss of the most important person in her life.
She'd forced her mind to think through all the medical logic she possessed and
that she did not- keeping cool and rational in hopes of saving her daughter's
life.
She'd been ready to kill the damned Gou'ald System Lord when she'd trained
that gun on her- but only sheer willpower- and the presence of Daniel at her
back had stopped her. Still, she would have done anything to find a cure for
Cassie and she did not regret any of her actions.
But in order to accomplish them all- she'd had to put her personal emotions
aside. She did it every day- although it was more difficult when SG-1 was
involved. It was harder still when it involved her daughter- but she did it- and
thank God, Cassie was now fine.
She, however, was not.
Sinking into the chair behind her desk, she felt the tremors wrack her body-
delayed reaction to all that had gone on in the past 24 hours. Images of
Cassie, convulsing and scared, mixed with the hurtful "Janet's" her daughter had
uttered painting a picture she hoped never to see again. But the impact of such
pictures was not as easy to push away.
Clenching her hands into fists, she tried to stop the shaking of her body,
but only served to convulse harder as the images pounded against her brain.
Cassie, so pale and weak- so determined to die- so determined to give up the
battle. Hurtful words, said in the heat of anger, but making her seriously wonder
if they weren't rooted in something deeper. The imagined thought of a life
without her precious little girl- who was fast growing into a beautiful young
woman.
A process she'd come close to never knowing.
Her breathing grew ragged as her nails dug into her palms- fighting to hold
back the building sobs threatening to overcome her. Lowering her head, trying
to fight the dizziness, she focused on her breathing, not surprised to find she
really had no control at the moment.
The first tear slipped down her cheek and she shakily reached up to brush it
away- only to find a warm hand had beat her to it. Her head flew up to meet a
familiar pair of concerned blue eyes.
"Janet?"
The soft murmur of her name, combined with the fact that his hand was now
cupping her cheek, brushing away tear after tear was the final straw.
With a strangled cry, she leaned into his palm and let the sobs break free.
She was barely aware of his strong arms closing around her, pulling her from
the chair and up against his warm, hard body. Wrapping her arms around his waist
in a death grip, she buried her face against his chest as she finally gave up
the battle against her emotions.
~*~*~*~*~
Daniel wasn't sure what had made him follow Janet from the infirmary back to
her office- although if pressed, he could probably come up with a few good
reasons. The logical- he wanted to make sure she was all right- to the illogical
but much more probable- he felt as if he needed to do something more to help
her through her pain.
It also didn't hurt that he'd felt the spark that had arced between them in
the hallway earlier tonight. It wasn't the right time or place to notice the
attraction that he'd only recently begun to admit was simmering beneath the
surface of their relationship.
He'd beaten himself up for a while after that meeting, wondering if he
shouldn't have given into the urge he'd had to go after her and take her in his
arms, promising her everything would be all right. He'd never wanted to hold
someone, just hold them, as much as he'd wanted to hold Janet in that instant.
Until this very one, right now.
Peering into her office, his heart broke as he saw her pale form shaking in
her chair. Her head was lowered and he could clearly hear her gasping for
breath, her hands clenched into tight fists. She was on the verge of losing it and
as much as she might hate him for seeing her like this- he knew he couldn't
leave her alone to fight her demons.
Not to mention she was entitled to a breakdown- she'd been the strongest one
through this whole ordeal- having to become a doctor even more than a mother
to save Cassie's life.
Moving quietly into the room, he walked over to her, noting a single tear had
slipped down her cheek. Without stopping to think- he reached his palm up to
cup her cheek, brushing away the droplet with a gentle finger.
The feel of her skin was electric- sparked even more as her eyes flew to his,
the surprise not enough to overcome the misery reflected there.
"Janet?"
His heart broke a little as at his whisper, he heard the first sob break
free- even as she leaned deeper against his palm. Feeling the need to offer more-
he didn't think twice before reaching down and pulling her petite form against
his body, wrapping her in as much comfort and support as he could.
His heartache eased a little as he felt her arms wrap tightly around him and
she buried her head against his chest. The body he was so used to seeing as
strong and agile was now limp and frail, shaking with the force of her sobs-
relying on him to guide her through the storm.
Murmuring soothing words, he tried to allow his presence to calm her, feeling
humbled that she trusted him enough to break down in front of him- in his
arms for that matter. Her body was light- but her warmth encompassed him as she
released everything she had been holding in since Cassie had gotten sick.
Stroking her hair- he held her until the sobs ran dry.
~*~*~*~*~
Janet finally felt the sobs stop, trailing off into sniffles as she tried to
calm her body. As she breathed deeply to steady herself, she inhaled the scent
that she'd come to recognize was uniquely Daniel. Turning her head up, she
felt a wave of embarrassment as she realized she was cradled in the
archaeologist's strong arms, having just soaked the front of his shirt with her tears.
"Daniel, I'm sorry-"
He stopped her words by placing two fingers over her lips.
"Janet, don't apologize." The look in his eyes made her breathing go shallow
again as she heeded his order. "You needed to let it out- holding all that in
wasn't healthy."
She sniffed, trying to smile, realizing only then that he hadn't removed his
arms and she hadn't attempted to leave them.
"I don't usually fall apart like that in front of a patient-"
"But I'm not just a patient, Janet. I'm your friend- at least, I think I am?"
The words sounded so hesitant she had to look up at him. His eyes told her he
really was unsure about his words and she sighed, instinctively pulling him
closer, resting her head lightly against his chest once more.
"You are, Daniel- and I can't thank you enough for letting me cry on you. It
was well above and beyond the call of duty."
His small smile warmed her heart- which sped up again as he cupped her cheek
softly, brushing away the few tears that remained.
"I meant what I said in the hall, Janet. Whatever you need, I'm here for you.
Don't shut me out, okay?"
The sincerity in his words brought a fresh flood of tears to her eyes.
Struggling to hold them back, she reached up to cup his cheek in her palm as he had
done to her earlier.
"Thank you."
His shrug at her words only made him look more endearing.
"For what?"
"For being here- for letting me cry and not trying to tell me things will be
all right. For understanding."
The words left much unsaid, but for the moment, they did just fine.
Stroking her hair softly, he settled himself onto the small couch in her
office, pulling her down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her as she rested
her head in the crook of his neck. It seemed to fit there perfectly.
"Sleep, Janet. You'll feel better in the morning."
"Don't go." She was nearly asleep, but remembered at the last minute to
tighten her arms around him. Hearing his content sigh, she finally allowed a
healing sleep to take over her body.
Daniel watched her for what might have been hours before he too began to
tire. Closing his eyes, he settled her more comfortably against his body- the even
lull of her breathing soon sending him to sleep as well.
Sam and Jack found them that way a few hours later- wrapped in each other's
arms, fast asleep on Janet's office sofa. With knowing looks at each other,
they smiled before closing the door behind them.
~*~*~*~*~
The End
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