Asphyxiated Fish
by Bryn


EMAIL: buddygirl19@yahoo.com
STATUS: complete
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: D/J, established relationship, humor (i hope)
SPOILERS: Singularity, I guess cause of Cassie
SEASON/SEQUEL: season 4 sounds good. Sequel to Sobriety Test, Hangover, Advantages to Being Sober, and V-Day.
SUMMARY: Are those wedding bells ringing in the background?
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: In celebration of Yahoo actually sending out mail now (such a miracle!) and in honor of the 17th birthday of my fabulous beta, Kat (May the Fourth be with you ;) ) here's some more fic for everyone! hope you like and remember to let me know if you do!


“When are you guys going to get married?” Cassie asks me over breakfast.

I nearly spit out my cereal all over her. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” Cassie smiles devilishly.

“Um…” I wrack my brain trying to find something Cassie’s done recently that I can yell at her about. Of all the teenagers in the universe, I had to get the only one who doesn’t get into trouble. Of course that’s probably because she spends most of her time playing Cupid.

“Well?”

“Don’t you have homework to do?”

“It’s Saturday morning!” Cassie protests.

“Start early.” I glare at her. I take my dishes to the kitchen, leaving her in the dining room, and hope this conversation is over.

“Daniel has.”

“Daniel has what?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Thought about it.”

“Cassie! Complete sentences, please!”

She sighs melodramatically and turns to me, saying slowly: “Daniel has thought about marriage.”

I stare at her. A minute passes, then another. “To who?”

“You!” she exclaims, rolling her eyes.

I stare at her again.

“Is that your impression of an asphyxiated fish?” She laughs.

Well, that got me from shocked to annoyed real fast. It also jump-started my brain again. “How do you know?”

“What an asphyxiated fish looks like?” she asks innocently.

“No! What Daniel’s thought about!” Thoughts of strangling her flash through my mind momentarily.

“He asked me what I thought about it.”

“Wait, he’s discussed this with you and not me?”

“Maybe he thought I wouldn’t stop breathing at the word marriage.” Cassie smiles.

“Cassie,” I warn in my newly acquired maternal voice.

“Janet,” she counters. “It’s not that strange of a concept you know. The two of you have been friends for years, you’ve been steadily dating for almost a year now, he loves you, god knows you’re crazy about him, and he practically lives here anyway. In fact, I’m more surprised when he’s not here than when he is. There are far more traumatic things for a teenage girl than having her adopted mother get married to her practically adopted father, so don’t you dare use me as an excuse. And don’t start with work either, that hasn’t been an excuse so far so there’s no reason it will be in the future. Now, if you think about it, there’s really no reason not to get married.”

“Thought about this a lot, have you?”

“It’s just common sense, which you seem to have none of when Daniel’s around.”

I open my mouth to remark about that but she cuts me off.

“And that is not an excuse either. That’s just a sign that you’re in love, which is a definite plus for marriage!”

“Are you quite done?” I ask.

She shrugs. “For now.”

“Don’t be so cocky, I can think of something to ground you for!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I ungracefully flop down in a chair and let my head bang down on the table in front of me. If I weren’t otherwise occupied being completely petrified, that probably would have hurt.

“’Morning to you too, Sunshine,” Sam comments from across the table in the commissary.

“Shut up,” I mumble. Of course since my face was still smashed against the table it came out more like “Shuduh,” but whatever.

“Problems?” Sam queries.

I raise my head and give her a really annoyed look. “Ya think?”

“Don’t start sounding like Jack, that’s just frightening.” Sam pops another piece of muffin in her mouth and waits for me to spill my guts to her.

I sigh. “Daniel talked to Cassie about marriage.”

“Daniel wants to marry Cassie?” Sam grins evilly.

“You know, it’s even scarier when you start sounding like Jack.”

“Let’s just leave Colonel O’Neill out of this conversation from now on, alright?” Sam suggests.

“Deal.” I suddenly notice that Sam is not the least bit disturbed by the news I just gave her. This makes me suspicious, very suspicious. “Sam?”

“Hmmm?”

“Has Daniel talked to *you* about marriage?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, why would Daniel want to marry me?” Sam is trying her darnedest to look innocent.

“Sam!” I growl.

“Ok, ok! He has brought it up.”

I stare at her incredulously. (Is it my imagination or have I been doing that a lot lately?) “Why didn’t you mention this before?”

Sam sighs. “He asked me not to. Janet, I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you!”

“Why? What’s so bad about it? This is something that will affect me, you know!”

“Janet…”

“Sam, *what* is going on here?”

“Janet, maybe you should ask Daniel about this,” Sam says as she gets up from the table and leaves me alone in my confusion. Yeah, she’s a great friend.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I mean seriously, what have I got to go on here but the ramblings of an alien teenager and brilliant astrophysicist too dumb to admit she’s in love with her CO? This is not the most reliable testimony, and probably not the best thing to base my actions in the next few moments on. But what else am I going to do? I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing today because my mind flatly refuses to focus on anything except the image of Daniel dressed in a tux waiting at the altar for me. Three days ago the thought of marriage could have basically been classified in another galaxy from me, but now it’s all I think of.

So here I am, standing outside his office, without a clue as to what the hell I’m about to do. Deep breath. Cross your fingers. Here goes.

I open the door and step inside. He’s sitting at his desk translating… something, and smiles at me when he glances up.

“Hi.” He smiles. “What’s up?”

“Um…” Okay, so all coherent thought has somehow vanished from my head. This could be a bad thing.

Daniel watches me patiently. See? Look how wonderful he is. That’s why I’m here and why I’m going to say this.

“Daniel, I love you…”

“Good…” Daniel agrees. He’s got that quizzical look on his face like when he thinks I’ve completely lost my mind.

I look at him and suddenly the words just start pouring out. “And Cassie adores you, and I don’t know what my life would be like without you. In fact I don’t even want to imagine it. This last year with you has been better than anything I could ever have dreamed of. My life is so perfect and I am so happy that I don’t think anything can ruin it. Actually that’s not true, there is one thing I know that could ruin it all in the blink of an eye and that’s losing you. I’m terrified of that, Daniel. I’m terrified of not having you next to me, not having your love. I know this is silly and that it shouldn’t be such a big deal, but something about making it official just makes it so much more real. I guess it’s just a childhood fantasy or something, but I think this is what I want… no, I know this is what I want and-“

“Janet?” Somewhere in the middle of my diatribe Daniel had come around the table to stand in front of me and now cupped my face in his hands, tilting my head up so I’m looking him in the eye.

“Yeah?”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Um… kinda. Yeah, I think that’s what I was going for there.” That was hard to say considering I’ve completely stopped breathing.

“Good.” He smiles and kisses me.

I pull back suddenly. “Was that a yes?”

“Yep.”

“Good.” Now I kiss him.

the end!

Copyright (c) Bryn 2001



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