Advantages to Being Sober

By Bryn

EMAIL: bambam126@hotmail.com
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: D/J romance, a little bit of S/J, humor hopefully
ARCHIVING: the Dan/Jan Archive
SPOILERS: none
SEASON/SEQUEL: Sequel to Sobriety Test and Hangover
SUMMARY: Daniel and Janet's first date turns out to be... well interesting is a good word for it.
DISCLAIMER: nothing belongs to me! please don't sue me! and if you're thinking about it... bite me!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: thanks to kat and becca for the constant nagging and everyone who tried to help me think of a title :) also thanks to everyone who sent me feedback for ST and H, you guys are the best!!!

****
Advantages to Being Sober
****

Considering I’ve been married and all before, one would think I’d know how to go on a date. Evidently not.

Several hours of sleep, four asprin, and three cups of very strong coffee later, Cassie is sitting on my bed laughing hysterically at me. I glare at her.

“Janet, will you relax! I swear, you’re worse than I was on my first date!” Cassie giggles as I try on yet another dress.

“When did you go on a date?”

“Uh, never mind. Maybe we should call Sam.” Cassie suggests, changing the subject.

“No, Sam Carter is not in my good graces at the moment. In fact I’m planning her agonising death right now,” I say, digging through my closet some more.

“What did she do?”

“She made a bet with Daniel about me.”

“Is that why you got drunk?”

I give her a curious look. Since when did she get so observant? “Uh, yeah.” I try to retreat further into closet.

“And isn’t that why you’re going on this date now?”

“Well, I suppose.”

“So didn’t Sam actually do a good thing?”

I contemplate this for a second. “Good point, But she still had way too much fun getting me drunk, so I’m definitely going to have to pay her back for that.”

“Okay, then can I make a suggestion?”

“About getting Sam or about what I should wear?”

“Both,” Cassie grins and gets up to help me.

* * * *

7:00 pm. It’s seven pm and I’ve stopped breathing. Seriously, I can’t remember how. So what does my ever so helpful daughter do? She smacks me with a pillow.

“Janet, aren’t doctors suppose to be calm, composed, ‘together’ kinda people?” Cassie asks as she giggles at me. I grab the pillow and swat her back.

“Cassie, darling, have I ever told you about boarding school?” I smile wickedly at her.

Just then the doorbell rings. I stop breathing again. Cassie takes a flying leap off the bed and runs for the door.

“I’ll get it!” She calls out over her shoulder. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. I self-consciously straighten the floor length black skirt I’m wearing and run my hands over my maroon sweater to flatten it. I take a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing.

Walking into the living room, I overhear Cassie talking to Daniel. I don’t think anything of it until I hear what she’s saying.

“So where are you taking her?”

“To dinner and a movie.”

“And what time will you have her home?”

“Cassandra!” I snap at her and send her a nasty look.

“What?” She asks innocently. “Like you wouldn’t do the same thing to my dates!”

“When I get back, you and I are going to have a long talk about these dates of yours,” I warn.

Daniel chuckles softly and I look over at him. Damn, he looks good in that suit. He extends his hand to me and I take it, feeling like a giddy teenager all over again.

* * * *

Irony is when you say one thing and the exact opposite happens.

“Relax Janet, tonight’s going to be perfect.” Now that’s irony.

Dinner is going pretty well. I’m just beginning to really enjoy myself. We’re talking, laughing, having fun. Then I take a bite of my food and nearly spit it out all over Daniel.

Evidently I must have made a pretty funny face because he’s all but rolling on the floor. I smirk at him and take a long sip of water.

“A little too much pesto,” I explain. He keeps laughing.

I glance around at the nearly empty restaurant, then chuck my bread at him.

He stops laughing and gives me a mock glare. “Don’t tempt me, Dr. Fraiser!” he warns.

“Oh, but that could be fun,” I mumble to myself. I try desperately to clear my mind of the very inappropriate thoughts entering it.

“What was that?” he asks.

“Oh nothing.” I give him an innocent smile.

“Yeah, sure.” Daniel says, not believing me for a second.

I look down at my food and start contemplating taking another bite, when suddenly I feel something hit me in the arm. I look up to see Daniel intently studying the wallpaper and my bread lying in front of me again. I smile. This means war.

That’s how we started the food fight. Which is how we got thrown out of the restaurant.

* * * *

How we ended up in the emergency department of the Air Force Hospital is another story entirely.

"Janet I'm so sorry!" Daniel says for the thousandth time as we walk into the waiting room. Well, I'm walking, he's actually limping.

"Daniel this isn't your fault," I tell him. "Anybody could've tripped over that squirrel."

"I didn't even see him. He just ran out of no where. I'm really sorry about this."

"Daniel, it's fine," I smile. He really is adorable especially when he's embarrassed.

"Do we really have to be here? I thought you said it was only a sprain."

"It's a bad sprain and I want to get you some bandages and pain killers. Besides you have a gash on your head which may need stitches."

"But look at this place, it's going to take forever to get seen." Daniel protests, looking around at the crowded chairs.

"No, it won't," I smile at him. "There are advantages to dating a doctor." I nod at one of the nurses and pull Daniel into an empty exam room.

"Dating?" he asks.

"Um...did I say that?"

"Uh huh."

"I think the drugs are effecting you."

"I haven't had any drugs yet."

"Right. Well I think you need some. I'll go get them now." I say quickly as I make a hasty exit. It's been a long night and evidently that whole not making a fool out of myself plan is beginning to fall apart.

I quickly find the supplies I need and start patching Daniel up. He patiently watches as I ice and wrap his ankle, but as I go to work on his head he stops me.

"Dating?" He asks again.

"Well, I guess you didn't hit your head hard enough to cause any memory loss...unfortunately." I say.

"You're really good at avoiding questions, aren't you?" He asks.

"Well if you asked questions I wanted to answer, I wouldn't avoid them." I retort as I clean the cut on his head and begin to bandage it. Luckily it's not deep enough for stitches, but it did do quite a good job of bleeding.

"Then you didn't mean the comment about dating?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it," I sigh.

"Good." He says, with a slight smile.

"Good? What's that suppose to mean?" I ask as I apply the gauze tape to his head. How does this man manage to look unbelievable even with an open head wound?

"It means you won't mind me doing this," he says as reaches up and takes hold of my hands. I open my mouth to say something when he gently pulls me towards him and kisses me.

WOW. That's basically it, just WOW. And maybe WOW, again. Unbelievable as it may be, I am at a loss for words.

He lets go of my hands and wraps his arms loosely around my waist. I look up at him and there I go again. You know, if I'm going to be spending more time with him I've really got to learn not to go weak in the knees every time he looks at me.

"Dating?" I ask. Well you knew that whole speechless thing couldn't last, this is me we're talking about.

"Yeah, dating."

* * * *

“Sam, could I see you in my office for a minute?” I call across the infirmary as SG-1 are finishing their post-mission exams. As I turn my back on her I momentarily allow myself a smile. This is gonna be fun.

“Is there a problem, Janet?” Sam asks with a worried expression as I motion her to close the door behind her.

“Sam, have you been noticing any strange symptoms lately? Fatigue, nausea?”

“No. Why, is there something wrong?” Sam asks, getting very worried now.

“Your blood panel came back from last week…and…” This is way harder than I thought it would be. It’s taking all my self-control to hold a straight face.

“And?”

“Sam, you’re pregnant.”

“WHAT??!!” I’m glad I’m a doctor, because I think she’s about to have a heart attack. “I’m going to KILL Jack!” She seethes.

At that I completely lose control and start doubling over in laughter. Pure shock is the first thing to show on her face, followed slowly by realization. I decide now is a good time to beat a quick retreat.

“That wasn’t funny!” Sam yells after me.

I quickly pretend to finish Daniel’s exam as everyone in the infirmary, all of whom heard Sam’s reaction loud and clear, stares at me. I hold out my hand and Daniel begrudgingly slaps a 20 in it. “Told you she’d believe it,” I smile.

...the end...

Copyright Bryn 2000

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